The makers of Bear Pruf Tents have been quiet, but not idle.  Just in
time for the 2008 season, they have developed the world's first Bear
Pruf Mountain Bike.  These bikes have been thoroughly tested in an
area that is totally off-limits to humans (except those riding Bear
Pruf Mountain Bikes, naturally).  These bikes are equipped with
numerous bells and emit huge plumes of anti-bear spray with every
wheel rotation.   The frame can be re-assembled to make a crude 12 Ga
shotgun.  Not only that, each Bear Pruf Mountain Bike has a cell phone
like system, sort of an On Star system, which rings every few minutes
to scare the bears away and to remind you it is there.    The Bear
Pruf Mountain Bike is endorsed by a Famous Outdoor Writer, however if
we don't mention his name we don't have to pay him anything, but I'm
sure readers here can figure out who would leap to endorse such a
thing.   No one has ever been killed by a bear while riding a Bear
Pruf Mountain Bike and it is covered by the same no nonsense bullet
proof guarantee as their tents:  If you are ever killed by a bear
while riding one of the Bear Pruf Mountain Bikes you can return it for
a FULL refund (minus an 85% re-stocking fee -- certain terms and
conditions apply -- may not be available in all areas -- see packaging
for details).