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Science Forum Index » Psychology Forum » How to deal with having hit someone with a car?
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| Guest |
 Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2003 4:51 pm |
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Hi,
A person I know recently hit someone with his pickup truck
(not really with a car). It was on a controlled access interstate
highway, and there were a group of people picking up trash
on the side of the road. The driver didn't even see the person
he hit until he was way too close to stop, or even slow down
very much. The guy ran into the left lane that the driver was
in, saw that he wasn't going to make it, and tried to go back.
The driver instinctively swerved into the right lane to avoid
the guy when he saw him, but the guy doubled back at the
same time and therefore was hit. The police said there was
nothing else the driver could have done, that the guy should
not have done what he did, and there were no charges
against the driver.
The guy that was hit will survive, but due to head injuries
will probably never be able to take care of himself or have
a normal life. He is only 16 years old. The driver isn't overly
upset about the situation, but it still does bother him some
and it was suggested that he might want to get some type
of counseling. He said that there is nothing counseling
could do to change the situation, he knows it was not his
fault, and doesn't really know what good it could do. But
out of curiosity I suggested that I make a post about the
situation in some ngs, and see if anyone can give some
idea of what a counselor might say, or what if any good
counseling could do for someone in his position.
Thank you for any input about this.
David |
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| Democratic goat |
| Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2003 6:56 pm |
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Guest
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Hi
You know it's funny I watched a documentary this week roughly about the same
thing. A guy was speeding down the road, and a car pulled out of a side road
and got hit, and was killed. The guy that hit him was knocked out and when he
came around at hospital the nurse said to him 'you've killed the other guy' but
the guy said 'am I OK?' He didnt feel any remorse, but years later he decided
this was a problem and went to a psychotherapy unit in London, and after a few
sessions it was thought that the reason he felt no remorse and other problems
in his life were because of early attachment issues with his dad. I'm not
saying this is the case with your friend, I just think it's a coincidence.
A counselor is generally there to listen to you and 'examining the issues
brought, within the wider context of what has given rise to them'. (BPS 2003)
Quote: The driver isn't overly
upset about the situation, but it still does bother him some
Does this person get bothered because of the incident or because he doesn't
feel as upset as people think he should? This might be one of the issues raised
if he decided to go to a counselling session.
Quote: what if any good
counseling could do for someone in his position
Even though going to see a counselor can be thereputic in the way you are
getting something off your chest to someone who is independent of the
situation, some people may find that it does not work for them. If you friend
decided to go see a counselor, after talking to them for a while he may bring
up something of relevence which can be talked about in more detail.
Counselling is not for everybody, but it may help your friend in this
situation. Even though you shouldnt force him to go see a counselor if he
doesnt want to, it may prove to be worthwhile.
Hope this helps |
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| Critter |
| Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2003 9:09 pm |
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Guest
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Quote: He didnt feel any remorse, but years later he decided
this was a problem and went to a psychotherapy unit in London, and after a
few
sessions it was thought that the reason he felt no remorse and other
problems
in his life were because of early attachment issues with his dad.
This is the most ridiculous and stupid conclusion I've ever heard.
The way to get over the guilt is to acknowledge that it was not an
intentional act, and he should therefore feel no guilt. He may be scarred by
it for life, but he must embrace that pain. If he did not feel pain at
taking a human life, then he would be a very cruel person. By aknowledging
his remorse and pain and simply living with it he is more human than
otherwise.
Why do you guys think that you need to cure him of his misery ? If you take
the misery out of accidental homicide then you turn him into a robot, or
maybe a Hitler.
The things thay teach people these days. Amazes me. |
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| Gremlin |
| Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2003 10:51 pm |
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Guest
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I think the best bet is to find someone you know already who sees a
shrink and is giving rave reviews about them and then go see theirs.
Shrinks can be good or they can be bad. Some of them are even
completely insane. The point of going to a shrink would be to work
through the grief of hitting someone with a car, but if there isn't
any grief then that wouldn't make sense. Maybe going to a shrink
would be to experience grief because that is what society says you
should feel. I know at my fathers' funeral no one was crying at all,
and I even had to work at letting the tears come out because that is
what I felt I should do. If this person feels like getting in touch
with their grief, or needs some help dealing with the grief they
already have then a psychologist could be of some benefit. What I
think would help more than that though, unless the situation is so bad
they need to be hospitalized, is the friend who wrote this message I
am responding to. Sometimes an empathetic friend is a much better
person to help you cope than a clinical therapist. I know if I were
this person I would want a friend a lot more than a doctor. Your
best friend though, if you know it or not, is God. He knows you and
will help all of you through this. amen |
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| Kali |
| Posted: Sun Nov 09, 2003 10:06 am |
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Guest
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In article <ep4oqv4pshaugfo5pq95aao3idvkihfsn4@4ax.com>,
posted Fri, 07 Nov 2003 21:51:30 GMT, dh_ld@nomail.com
says...
:Hi,
:
:A person I know recently hit someone with his pickup truck
:(not really with a car). It was on a controlled access interstate
:highway, and there were a group of people picking up trash
 n the side of the road. The driver didn't even see the person
:he hit until he was way too close to stop, or even slow down
:very much. The guy ran into the left lane that the driver was
:in, saw that he wasn't going to make it, and tried to go back.
:The driver instinctively swerved into the right lane to avoid
:the guy when he saw him, but the guy doubled back at the
:same time and therefore was hit. The police said there was
:nothing else the driver could have done, that the guy should
:not have done what he did, and there were no charges
:against the driver.
:
:The guy that was hit will survive, but due to head injuries
:will probably never be able to take care of himself or have
:a normal life. He is only 16 years old. The driver isn't overly
:upset about the situation, but it still does bother him some
:and it was suggested that he might want to get some type
f counseling. He said that there is nothing counseling
:could do to change the situation, he knows it was not his
:fault, and doesn't really know what good it could do. But
:out of curiosity I suggested that I make a post about the
:situation in some ngs, and see if anyone can give some
:idea of what a counselor might say, or what if any good
:counseling could do for someone in his position.
:
:Thank you for any input about this.
:David
There is no a priori need for counseling or psychotherapy
for a traumatic event. Your friend may have the resources
(individual strengths and support from others) to cope. If
symptoms develop that interfere with his ability to enjoy
life and close relationships or be productive at work, he
may want to consider working with a counselor or therapist.
The counselor or therapist will work with him to sort
through what happened, what it means to him, and help him
get back to a place where he feels better, is productive,
and has the event well integrated into his life narrative.
Kali
--
"The national security alert system has gotten up
to orange, which is the highest level at which you
can still shop at the mall. Red is the highest alert.
At a red alert the president would encourage you to
shop online." Al Franken |
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| Critter |
| Posted: Sun Nov 09, 2003 6:03 pm |
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Guest
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Quote: There is no a priori need for counseling or psychotherapy
for a traumatic event,
or anything else
Quote: Your friend may have the resources
(individual strengths and support from others) to cope. If
symptoms develop that interfere with his ability to enjoy
life and close relationships or be productive at work, he
may want to consider working
trying to find a coping mechanism other than Prozac
Quote: The counselor or therapist will work with him to sort
through what happened, what it means to him, and help him
get back to a place where he feels better, is productive,
and has the event well integrated into his life narrative.
and then charge him a bundle for what he could have got elsewhere for free. |
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