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Science Forum Index » Environment Forum » Global warming turns ugly as nature attacks with giant ice b
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| David Naugler |
 Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2003 10:19 am |
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From:
http://www.adn.com/doogan/story/4524428p-4501069c.html
Global warming turns ugly as nature attacks with giant ice balls
MIKE DOOGAN
COMMENT
(Published: December 16, 2003)
I guess the world wasn't dangerous enough. Now, apparently, big balls
of ice have taken to falling from the clear blue sky.
Fortunately for Alaskans, most of the big balls of ice fall from the
clear blue sky over Spain. No one knows why. Perhaps it's nature's way
of getting even for bullfighting.
But they don't all fall in Spain. According to a story that first
appeared in the Toledo -- the one in Ohio, not the one in Spain --
Blade, "Last winter, an ice chunk that eyewitnesses described as 'half
the size of a car' ripped through the roof of an automobile dealership
in Lawrenceville, Ga."
I'll bet that gave them something to talk about around the coffee pot.
Also last winter, another ball of ice, this one described as being the
size of a basketball, crashed through the roof of a home in
Lawrenceville.
Nobody knows why Lawrenceville is being shelled. Do you suppose
they're holding clandestine bullfights there? Or have a large Spanish
community?
In many of these cases, the usual sources of ice from the sky --
airplane toilets, comet fragments -- have been ruled out. Instead,
scientists think they are something fairly new: really, really big
hailstones, formed in the same place and in the same way as more
modest hailstones, the ones the size of, say, golf balls or canned
hams.
They even have a name for these big balls of ice that fall from the
sky: Megacryometeors, which is Latin for big balls of ice that fall
from the sky.
These megacryometeors were first reported about three years ago, and
more seem to be falling all the time.
Most weigh 25 to 35 pounds, but, according to the newspaper article,
one found in Brazil "tipped the scales at 440 pounds."
Imagine that smacking you on the head. Sort of puts the health threat
from eating too much red meat in perspective, doesn't it?
Now, big balls of ice falling from the sky would be worrisome enough.
I mean, who wants to live in a world where nature is actively trying
to knock your block off?
But, of course, that's not all there is to it.
The leading theory is that it's not nature causing these big balls of
ice to fall from the sky. At least it's not just nature. It's also
everybody's favorite villain: us. Because what's causing the big balls
of ice to fall from the sky is global warming.
You know about global warming. The planet is heating up, and
scientists say a big reason is all the gunk humans pump into the air
from smokestacks, automobile exhausts and exhaling.
Until I read about these big balls of ice, I thought global warming
would be a completely beneficial event for Alaskans. I mean, how could
the weather getting warmer hurt us?
Sure, it would be bad for cross-country skiers, but people so deranged
as to intentionally go outside in the winter and start sweating will
be able to find some other way to get frostbite.
And the rest of us will be able to eat bananas off our own trees.
So I was thinking we should be converting our furnaces to coal and
giving good citizenship medals to people who drive big gas guzzlers,
as ways of helping to speed global warming along. Maybe launching a
"Warm the Planet" campaign to encourage people to emit more greenhouse
gases in their daily lives.
And, thinking long-term, trying to corner the local market in beach
towels for resale at a dandy markup.
But if it's going to cause me to have to dodge giant balls of ice, I
guess I'll have to rethink my position. It's one think to ignore the
advice of people who want me to eat groats, wear unbleached linen and
travel by ox cart. It's another to have to spend the rest of my life
looking up. Think of the stiff neck you'd get.
And driving? I mean, not even a '72 Buick LeSabre is going to
withstand a direct hit from a 440 pound ball of ice.
Besides, what if giant balls of ice are just the first danger? What if
they are accompanied by earthquakes, volcanic eruptions and rampaging
giant lizards, just like in one of those movies that featured Steve
Reeves in phony animal skins?
So I guess I'll have to behave myself and not try to help increase
global warming. Give up my dreams of sunshine, palm trees and Cook
Inlet's golden beaches.
Not to mention my plans for turning catastrophic climate change into
an economic development opportunity. Know anybody who wants to buy a
beach towel?
Mike Doogan's opinion column appears each Tuesday, Friday and Sunday.
His telephone number is 257-4350, and his e-mail address is
mdoogan@adn.com. |
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| Vendicar Decarian |
| Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2003 2:44 pm |
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"David Naugler" <dnaugler@sfu.ca> wrote in message
news:c6bcfffa.0312160719.81bcd4c@posting.google.com...
Quote: I guess the world wasn't dangerous enough. Now, apparently, big balls
of ice have taken to falling from the clear blue sky.
To get some people's attention, they have to burn as fire upon the ground. |
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