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Science Forum Index » Psychology Forum » What is this about? It sounds true!...
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| Anonymous Sender... |
 Posted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 6:35 pm |
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Long ago I realized when people talked about humanity and mankind, they meant men and women. If you even look at the word, there's men and
then there's womb-men, and womb-men are men with wombs. So all that it really is is we're the
same species; we are the same except where we're different, and where we're different we're very
different. But we're much more alike than unalike. But the ways that we're different are so powerful
in the sensitivity of our connection. As you know, I believe that we're all going through an
evolutionary leap and a shift in consciousness, and I believe that one of the major contributing
aspects of it will be a change in the way that men and women relate to one another -- that we're
hungering for it, we're longing for it, that most of the dysfunction in our culture and in our families is
very related to this shift -- that it's the old material of thousands of generations that we're not
comfortable with yet. I have a very controversial, unusual theory that's sort of the reverse of what
everyone else says. When I first started speaking I'd heard no one ever say this. I believe, as you
know, about left brain and right brain, that as people we're learning how to mature both
hemispheres, but our culture is dominantly linear minded, and I believe that we are learning to
understand what the intuitive mind is really like, and while both men and women obviously both have
both hemispheres, I think we have a dominant preference, and using the concepts of yin and yang,
which are Chinese terms for these two qualities -- yang being sort of the linear, logical, verbal,
cause-and-effect, how do you do it, how do you get it, how much, what time, and is there a book on
it, let me check it out -- the linear mind is kind of -- whoosh!
I will explain the real triskelion, the major mix up we have going on in a bit.
It's brain gender. Once you learn to look at things in thirds, it gets clearer.
We are all both, have manifestations of both - but the stereotypes can change, and probably
will change. Left is stereotypically masculine, and typically, certainly associated with Western culture. And the intuitive
mind, the right brain, is very hard to describe, because, one, it's not verbal, except in a poetic sense;
it's acausal thinking, which means thinking that doesn't have a cause -- you just know something, like
clairvoyance or intuition, or just a good idea; it pops in your mind. It thinks in metaphor, stories,
pictures; so it's dream life and it's vision and spiritual experience and intuition. And I believe that if
you were born in a yang body, male body, whose maleness as a body is to be kinetic and to be
stronger physically, to move, to like to play sports, and so on, and even the whole sexual organs, it's
the putting out of the sperm -- that is a yang energy, that's a yang body. And a woman is a yin body,
with a womb. It's the thing even Lao Tsu used to talk about the yin. He said it's the valuable nothing
in a lump of clay that makes it a valuable vessel.
Lao Tsu was the ancient Chinest philosopher who was a founder of the Taoist
religion. And the Tao is a very powerful thought that I think Jesus relates to very well, too. It's
like the Holy Spirit. It's the flow of the universe. It's the God presence in things. And he talked about
in Chinese philosophy the yin and the yang, and the yin is that softness, that non-force, the womb in
which something can come into being. That's right-brain thinking. And of course women have yin
bodies. But I believe, as part of the balancing effect, which is the controversial part, if you're in a
yang body, your dominant mental style is yin, and if you're in a yin body your dominant mental style
is yang. Now that doesn't mean, obviously, that men don't have both hemispheres, or that women
don't, but what it does end up doing, I believe, is explain a lot of the problems men and women have
together -- that women are dominantly linear, left-brain, logical, verbal, cause-and-effect thinkers.
And probably thank God they are, because since their bodies are yin, if they didn't think ahead, nine
months ahead, as human beings were beginning in our early stages of culture, if women didn't worry
about cause and effect and what happens in the future, we very well might not have survived as a
species.
Women have to think about their children. And isn't it true that women choose mates
more on logical grounds: Will he be a good supporter of the child? Men are the ones who are
looking for, "Is she sexy?"
It is obvious our culture is predominantly left-brain.
We are told men dominate the culture. Therefore it would seem that men are the ones who are dominating it with their left-brain,
logical, rational mode of being. And now it's on its head - women raise the children
and impose all their values, their worldview on the growing child's mind - this is pre-logical imprinting - there is no way out of this
conclusion. It is now known that we do 90 percent of our learning by the time we are four years old.
It seems that because most women are soft, submissive by nature - men appear to dominate
because women want it that way. If you evaluate culture by social needs you actually
find that the main goals of western civilization are based on feminine imperatives,
safety, security, health, emergency response, hospitals, schools,
a nice place to raise your kids overall.
I really do agree with Freud on that the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. I really do believe women have so much more influence than
they know, and that a lot of the suffering between men and women is women do not realize how
much power and influence they have. And because they're coming from feelings of powerlessness all
the time, they are actually often cruel and judgmental because they don't realize that they have more
power than they think. They have the power of softness; they have the power to be receptive. When
their linear mind keeps track of the details and women can organize things so well -- that's why
women like, generally speaking and believe me, I realize I'm speaking in generalities all the time
here, and I don't want to get into arguments with people in their minds about, "Well, I'm not like
that," or "I'm not always like that," because obviously we're not. But dominantly speaking, women
are the ones who like to keep the house in order, want to know where everything is, like to keep
things under a certain kind of control. And even what you were saying, when they look for husbands,
I think originally it was very much geared towards their survival and looking for a provider: "How do
I keep this man with me so the saber-toothed tigers don't get me when I'm giving birth?" I mean,
there were very powerful, deep, ancient reasons why we have certain compulsions, almost, and
needs that we don't necessarily think out. But I think it has somewhat digressed into women wanting
men who have power or money, and that's why they say power is the greatest aphrodisiac for
women, because they are seeing it as a form of control. I believe that part of the evolutionary leap is
that we won't be so interested in control -- control in the sense of power over anyone. We will be
men and women, finding the power within ourselves, and that that is the solution.
Otherwise all that is happening is that these genetic traits, cowardice and greed,
vanity and imitation - the guy who has dressed like television idols, and
avoided conflicts and hoarded the most coconuts - gets the girl. Women reproduce
with men more and more based on abstract marketed programmed variables, and evolution
itself ceases to function. Economies and arranged marriage began doing this to us thousands of
years ago - strict doctrines, pogroms, purges and sweeping taboos also tie the hands
of evolution. It is strange to think that the only thing that may start it up again
is a great catastrophe - and then you realize - that is how it has always been. It's a cyclic
thing in overview - so we are not doing anything wrong by sitting and waiting for armageddon.
My only question is - our priorities are so far out of whack - will anyone survive?
And as women are understanding a little bit more about men. Men being dominantly
right-brain and intuitive, they are very, very deeply emotional. They get into such overload in their
emotions. And because their major function is not the linguistic, linear mind, it's difficult for them to
speak. Women often will say -- in fact you'll see on every talk show -- the great complaint is, "He
doesn't tell me what he thinks. He can't talk to me. He can't have a relationship if he won't tell me."
What they don't realize is that there are at least three important things happening as to why men don't
talk to women. One that almost no one realizes, it's harder for men to speak, put it into words. One
of the examples I give is if you ask a woman, for instance, "What color is this room?" she'll look
around, she'll see the dominant colors, she'll say the walls are white, or in this case they're black, and
she'll say black. But what men do is, if you ask a question like that, they go, "Oh ... oh ... oh ...
another color ... Oh! ... oh ... oh." Everywhere they look -- and they get into this kind of overload
that paralyzes them, and then they think, "What color does she want me to say?" So men are thinking
in a really different way than women, and I think most men that I've met have always seemed to
know that women think differently. I don't mean just different ideas; they actually process information
differently. But most women think, "Well, we think or we don't think, and you just think, and men
must think like we think, only they're just being difficult." So they think more judgmentally; they think
more black-and-white, because of the dominance of the linear mind.
Women also have the asset of being able to interface more easily with the other. So women are not
really more emotional; they're more verbal, and able to explain and express their emotions. Men are
so emotional they go into overload, I believe; they kind of go into this almost internal numbness, that
they themselves do not even experience their emotion, because it goes into such deep overload that
what comes up is like they draw a blank. And then they say something that women get very angry at;
they feel it's very lame, or it's cold. They're not cold. They're very deeply feeling. And even just that
one thing being corrected, I think, would help in many women's communication, if they would realize
that, if women would allow themselves to be just a little more receptive.
I said there were three things. One of the things I noticed when I first discovered this -- and I have
three sons, and I learned a lot about how men think by feeling them, by perceiving how they think.
Women would come and say, "Well, he doesn't tell me how he thinks, and I can't have a relationship
if he won't tell me." So I'd have the man and woman together, and I'd say, "Now ask him." And
she'd say, "Tell me how you feel about this." And then I'd feel him kind of go into this huge overload,
and I could kind of tell, and I would end up sort of translating. I'd explain to her what he meant, and
to him what she meant, and they'd both turn -- "Is that what you meant?" -- and they'd leave
connected. But what I also realized is that when the woman asked this, most of the time she really
did not want to know how he felt. She wanted an answer, she wanted something to work with, in the
way her mind works, which is "What's right? What's logical? What will make us get this?" But she
really did not want to know how he felt, because to ask someone, authentically and earnestly, "How
do you feel?" is to open your gut, is to open your heart, is to open your mind. What women tend to
do is, "Don't tell me that or I'll get upset," or, "If you tell me that I'll have to leave." So they're actually
not realizing they're sending mixed messages, that they're not earnestly asking, because it feels very
vulnerable to be that open, to be that receptive. Men are more receptive. Just look at sport, for
instance. Why men love sports is because they get to go back to that basic power in themselves,
whether it was originally in hunting or not -- that power to hand off, to look, to work in unison, to
feel the magic of that intuitive mind being allowed free rein, along with physical activity, to create
something, to accomplish something. Men love to fix things if they can. They love to help. They don't
want to help if they're scolded as little boys and demeaned and told, "You need to do this; you
should do this; you're bad if you don't do this." Then they run from it like crazy. If women only knew
how much mean really do love them and want to give them everything, everything they can. Women
are suffering so much from their own internal critical parent. It really is very sad to me how much
women hurt themselves and the people around them without realizing it, because of being so
linear-minded it gets too much into the judgmental. They feel very powerless in being accepted. They
don't realize, and don't trust it, and it's one of the things that I work with, with both men and women.
I get the feeling that that's what you're getting at by highlighting the fact that what we
often think of as feminine is perhaps really more masculine, and what we think of as masculine may
be really more feminine.
There's a reason for this - and it has to do with brain gender and social balance.
Thirty three percent of men have female brains, with all the same imperatives,
they want to stay monogamous, they are reall homemakers, and have all the same
feelings about raising children as women do - these men are those who have been
the most misunderstood till now. Because, as I said the female brain can not only know,
but explain it's feelings - we are getting a very strong sense of this male perspective now,
and in many ways these men have partnered with male brained women to rein in the external male
dominance in society.
Of these male brained women, one third are gay male brains - meaning they will
prefer men. Women have more options for intimacy and choice because of the non
destructive nature of their sexuality - one third will be clearly bi, and
The physiological advantage of their enhanced amygdala and corpus callosum
makes male brained women superb persuaders and forceful communicators.
Most, but not all executives and politicians will manifest that extra drive,
that dominant nature - and that strong jawline that testosterone breeds.
Remember that again - of these female brained men, one third will have gay female brains,
that is they will lean only towards women, one third will manifest what I call natural female bisexuality,
and the final third will be straight wired - which is to us exclusively 'gay' - the "i just knew" crowd.
This fits statistical profiles really well, and also explains the huge leap forward in
sensitivity and awareness to and of sexual orientation and choices in media and culture.
Guys are now emotionally represented, albeit a little skewed overall because one third are really speaking
for everyone. The same with women.
This is in hermetic philosphy el-ella and ella-el gnosis.
Female brained men have been punished severely in society for their apparent right brain
disorganization, intuitive approach, sensitive stances and submissive nature.
Male brained women don't understand their sisters that well either.
A lot of the old confusions men have had about women still apply.
"No means yes" is a very politically incorrect statement,
yet in sex negative cultures - 'no' before, during, and 'after' is more the norm.
Examples of popular pornography from india show this clearly,
and anecdotal experiences of westernized men visiting there.
Approximately two thirds of women - being 'good girl' say 'no' while doing yes,
in fact it is common to protest and even struggle during intercourse.
Male brained women find it hard to understand that this appeals to both
of their fantasies, not just the man's 'need to dominate'
Male brained female women are very violently reactive about many issues.
They don't fully understand the feelings that female-brained women have about
children and their care. This is a very touchy issue - and nobody will discuss feelings
openly here - except female brained men, society's whipping boys.
...and why not. They apparently 'ask for it.'
Well, we have mixed it up a bit, but you can even see it in the culture that we're confused.
Because women wanting their way, or wanting things -- you know, things aren't right until they're
right in their view. And women help each other, as most sort of minority-feeling people do, even if
it's totally irrational, they'll back it up sometimes, because they feel powerless. So I have always
found that reducing that feeling of powerlessness is one of the crucial ingredients. But what people
tend to do, because of this old-style thinking, I call it -- this either/or is so strong that when they don't
feel powerless then they feel powerful, and then tend to go overboard and lord it over. So growing
up and being mature has to do with internal restraint when you have power, and an empowering of
others and yourself when you feel powerless. To me the greatest evil in the world is to promote fear
in people, and to promote any feelings of powerlessness. We must always address our talents and
our assets. Because every asset has a liability built into it. I use simplistic things like if you're very
small, it's an asset; you can fit into a Volkswagen comfortably. But you can't reach the top shelf. If
you're tall, vice versa. So one isn't better than the other, except in some circumstances. All talents
are like that, and we all have different talents, and part of men and women understanding one
another is to know that we actually do have some different talents, and women are suffering so much
from almost a frenzy of judgmentalness these days. The sort of male bashing on television and the internet is
atrocious, and I don't think that if men ever said half of the things, the way women say them now in
common conversation on television, the radio, the web about women, there would be a fury. Most men are now very
intimidated and just kind of go along with it. This is totally the backlash of female power against a male hegemony in media
which dominated since the invention of the printing press. The male brained women
have been in a sort of hell created by their sisters, sventy percent of them
that really worked together to put men in charge cause that's how they liked it to be,
and the rest of things were working out. You have to remember that the percentages
haven't really changed, but with the advent of the information age, the dominant
women have been able to hammer out a solid doctrine and take the place of this male hegemony.
A lot of this new 'inverse perception' of the genders is media produced
to push the pendulum back from the disempowerment of history.
Remember we live in a world that still refuses to acknowledge tops and bottoms,
dominance and submission. I don't mean chains and leather and that sort of thing.
All beings have a sliding scale of dominance and submission - social assertiveness,
sexual forc
For example, it is completely taboo for women to say they enjoy oral or anal sex.
A significant number do, but because those creating the doctrine statistically do not,
as these are power hierarchical activities, all must say they don't.
Male brained women, as their sister's keeper, cannot help putting their needs first,
as in fact so many men do when it comes to sexual and social fulfilment.
This coincides perfectly with the madonna-whore complexes that men suffer from,
so now - even though the pendulum swings back - women are STILL not allowed to
make their desires known or request total fulfilment from their partners.
Instead they have to get tattoos on their sacrum, or wear 'pirate' tee shirts
to show that they are understanding the love of 'booty' - thongs exposed
like the white tuft of fur some animals have - shouting 'attention here is okay.'
They get lip studs and oral piercings to show
Or multiple piercings to show that pain is part of their pleasure
awareness, etc...
Many guys are too dumb to figure cues out. As well the male brained women.
They think and even enforce their feelings on all.
Part of the latest shift in social consciousness is the bulk of women
who were biochemically happy to be directed around by what they thought
was male imperatives are realizing that their real bosses are other
women. Are they into this?
There is what I consider a crisis in our species, and it is most apparent in third world
nations with strong sociosexual taboos. The whole notion that 'good girls don't'
and the imperatives that sex is withheld until sufficient socioeconomic prowess is shown,
or matrimony is proposed creates a huge gap in available sexuality.
As we know - 90 percent - almost all men - will have sex with other
men in the absence of women. This is from prison studies, but
almost all of them deny this and return to previous patterns.
There is one type of woman servicing all the available men,
the male-brained woman with a gay male brain. Typhoid Mary comes to mind.
Again it's not politically correct to say that gay men are promiscuous, but they statistically are.
Analysis of who has 'done it' with who in small towns in Asia
dramatically reveal this pattern. "You mean HE slept with her too?"
Most independent female sex workers and performers have male brains, straight or gay.
I'm not trying to be judgmental here and make another problem, but I really wish people would hear it, and notice that you must speak respectfully -- that
women need to speak respectfully to men, they need to have more courage themselves to give up a
relationship that's violating or not OK -- say, "Excuse me, I'd love to be with you, but you can't do
that." And just say it like that instead of screaming and ranting and putting up with it and verbally
abusing. I often say because of these differences men beat women up with their hands, but women
beat men up with their tongues, with their words. Both are at fault, and both are wrong, and both are
not OK, ever. I hate to talk about how 'in control' women are emotionally, but in many
NOT all, mind you, but many of these abusive situations - the disgusting physical attacks
that men sometimes resort to are a result of this 'emotional overload' because they can't
explain their feelings. I hate to make them sound like morons after all I've said but they don't
even understand their own feelings. The women in these abusive relationships know that
they have a complete vocabulary of every word, accusation or situation which will trigger
an outburst. They don't talk about this. This is politically incorrect to say, but then
I said not ALL. Many of these guys are really like angry destructive toddlers and
emotionally puppets. How do we grow abusive men up?
People are growing beyond this -- that women are at a point where they can give up feeling powerless.
The male brained women no longer need to speak for all the sheep, but finding a responsible voice is the new task.
Remember that our politically correct view is minorities of screenwriters
living in cities pretending their worldview is all of reality. Most of America is very traditional
I don't mean for women to seperate from men, or live alone - I mean take responsibility that they really are good people, have resources, and
They don't have to verbally abuse their children or their husband, or sit and take abuse. It seems that women do one extreme or the other,
because they either think, "This is my man and I have to put up with it," or, "I don't care, and I'm
going to tell you off and make you do what I want you do to." And that's the worst, that's the worst
thing that happens. When women begin to realize and hear themselves doing that, and begin to
support each other and themselves to speak more respectfully, to really reinvent how they
communicate, so that they ask more earnestly, more willing to hear what's there -- maybe give up
some fantasies, and let themselves discover the magic of a true, authentic relationship. Because men
have a magic inherent in themselves that has to do with their spontaneity, and when they feel safe
with a woman, and when they really love her, all this magic is released, and it's what women long for
to receive, and it's what men long for to give. And we unfortunately just cannot get it by scolding and
blaming and judging and withdrawing from one another. Men are emotionally less sophisticated overall
and will more often than not conform to expectation. A male brained woman in an abusive
relationship is often immediately out of it - usually with once burned twice shy logic.
Now typically, stereotypically, intuition is considered the woman's faculty -- women's
intuition. Women are really the more linear, rational ones.
But I think what I hear you saying is a part of the evolutionary leap forward, part of
moving towards a higher awareness, is for women to really become intuitive.
And to really become intuitive means to soften the linear mind. Not stop it -- I don't
mean be passive; I mean be receptive. There's a great power that is born when women are
receptive.
Can you distinguish now, for us, between being passive and being receptive?
Being passive is stifling the self, and numbing yourself out, and sort of looking receptive.
Receptive is being very powerful; it's being very big, being very open, being very able to take in
what's going on -- not need to nail it down, not need to have a conclusion, not need to control it, but
to really be present and feeling and receptive. And hear, so if a man does something that's not OK,
that you don't want him to do, that you think is not handling something properly -- hear what's going
on with him. Almost always you'll find something else is going on, and that your saying, "You're doing
it wrong" is not helpful, whereas if you give him the room and the support for being very conscious
and present, to feel what's going on, then he feels that as a connection and as a respect. Then if you
offer a suggestion, it doesn't come out of scolding and superiorness; it comes out of partner, it comes
out of synergy, because you have completed the other half of the equation by letting yourself be open
and receptive to what's going on. Passive is putting up. That's why women are so angry, is because
they tend to be either awfully assertive and demanding, or passive. Those are the two sides of the off
coin, and that's the big change, is learning how to be receptive. And it takes a lot of inner strength; it
takes a lot of forgiving of yourself. And it's that linear-minded, critical parent that makes it hard, so
women tend to try to create the security by controlling what's out there. They tell everybody else
how to do it. |
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