These have been snoped!
Yes, it's again that magical time of the year when the Darwin Awards
are bestowed, honoring the least-evolved among us.

And the glorious Winner for 2007 is:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James
Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the Honorable Mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat- cutting
machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company
expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for
himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's
claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit
his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered
everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers
to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very
excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't
discovered for 3 days.

5. A Texas teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply tryin g to see how
close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he
got from the drawer: $15.

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab
some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over
his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-
be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor s tore
window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in
the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of
the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he
replied, 'Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse
from.'

9. The Ann Arbor Michigan News crime column reported that a man walked
into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 a.m., flashed a gun,
and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he
couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man
ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

*** ***THE 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked
on Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor
home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man
admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into
the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd had
in a very long time.

I am surprised that they overlooked you in making these awards. You would
have won hands down.

On Tue, 5 Feb 2008 10:45:56 -0800, P. Maffia <pmaffia@centurytel.net
wrote:
I am surprised that they overlooked you in making these awards. You would
have won hands down.

You silly goof. You have to remove yourself from the gene pool before
you can
get a darwin award. Hence THE NAME of the award.
Mere stupidity isn't enough. You have to either kill yourself through
your
stupdity or otherwise remove your ability to procreate.

"AZ Nomad" <aznomad.2@PremoveOBthisOX.COM> wrote in message
news:slrnfqhf8q.t77.aznomad.2@ip70-176-155-130.ph.ph.cox.net...
On Tue, 5 Feb 2008 10:45:56 -0800, P. Maffia <pmaffia@centurytel.net
wrote:
I am surprised that they overlooked you in making these awards. You would
have won hands down.

You silly goof. You have to remove yourself from the gene pool before
you can
get a darwin award. Hence THE NAME of the award.
Mere stupidity isn't enough. You have to either kill yourself through
your
stupdity or otherwise remove your ability to procreate.

Another candidate for the awards heard from.

Incredible! You get it explained in terms that anybody with a sixth grade
education could understand and you still don't get it.

These have been snoped!
Yes, it's again that magical time of the year when the Darwin Awards
are bestowed, honoring the least-evolved among us.

And the glorious Winner for 2007 is:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James
Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
 And now, the Honorable Mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat- cutting
machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company
expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for
himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's
claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit
his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered
everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers
to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very
excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't
discovered for 3 days.

5. A Texas teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply tryin g to see how
close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he
got from the drawer: $15.

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab
some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over
his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-
be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor s tore
window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in
the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of
the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he
replied, 'Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse
from.'

9. The Ann Arbor Michigan News crime column reported that a man walked
into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 a.m., flashed a gun,
and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he
couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man
ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

*** ***THE 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked
on Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor
home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man
admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into
the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd had
in a very long time.