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Science Forum Index » Anthropology Forum » NY TImes Exclusive -- ED CONRAD BRAIN SURGERY TODAY
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 Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 3:25 am |
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This just in.
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By NICHOLAS SWADE
< The New York Tmes
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WASHINGTON, D/C/ (Rueters)
-- A panel of the National Academy
of Sciences has recommended
an autopsy of Ed Conrad's brain
since the Scientific Establishment
is scared stiff believing it is getting
closer and closer to destroying the
theory of the evolution of man.
"I KNOW it's going to hurt," said
Conrad. "But I've decided to have
it done for the sake of science.
"Actual;y, the worse thing that
can happen if they make a mistake
is that I'll have to live the rest of my
life as a babbling idiot. But I'll be
in good company because I'll receive
a free life membership to talk.origins."
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< MORE MORE MORE
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WHY SURGERY IS DEEMED NECESSARY...
http://www.edconrad.com
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This what the Average Joe's brain looks like
http://www.ipmc.cnrs.fr/~duprat/neurophysiology/images/brain2.jpg
This is what neurologists believe Ed Conrad's brain looks like
http://www.posiesplace.net/wp-content/uploads/2006/04/spaghetti-tetra...
http://www.kfc.com/menu/images/sides_mpg.jpg
<
For the complete article, see
http://www.nytimes.com/2004/0627/science/09ROSE.html
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Official Procedure for Autopsy of Ed Conrad's Brain
<
<001> ocm42933313 (Conrad Brain Review) This should take only about
four-five minutes.
<005> 20010423094822.0
<040a> CUT (Do NOT Use Pearl-Handled Cleaver) Use Kleenex to Soak Up
Blood
<040c> CUT (Incision of Conrad's Lower Delectili)
<040d> SPI
<040d> GPO (Sample of Ugly, Greenish Hair Follicle on Brain Stem)
<037a> 161410
<037b> GAO (202) 512-6000 (Voice Mail; (202) 512-6061 (Fax)
<037f> paper copy (Xerox to Smithsonian. Call first to make sure
someone is in.)
<043a> n-us---
<050a> Q180.U5 (Blow Out Hot Air if Feasible)
<074a> 0546-D (go online)
<088a> GAO/RCED-99-17 (Ground section to University of California-
Berkeley, Penn State and University of Pennsylvania)
<088a> Remember to buy bread, eggs and milk on way home due to
forecast of snowstorm.
<
LUNCH BREAK (No eating over the gurney)
<
<099a> GA 1.13:RCED-99-17
<049a> GPOO Send samples of brain delectili to Joe Paterno at Penn
State
<110a> Send a few to the General Accounting Office.
<245a> Federal research (Blood Sample to American Medical
Laboratories, Chantilly, Va.)
<245h> [microform] (Document Deep Incision on DVD_):
<245b> the National Academy of Sciences and the Federal Advisory
Committee Act :report to Congressional requesters and all military
personnel at bases around the world.
<245c> United States General Accounting Office.
<246a> National Academy of Sciences and the Federal Advisory Committee
Act
<251a? Updates to Hillary Clinton, John McCain, Barack Obama, Mitt
Romney, Rush Limbaugh, Keith Olbermann, Bill O'Reilly and Howard Stern
<260a> Donations can be sent to Save Ed Conrad's Brain, c/o
Smithsonian Institution,Washington, D.C. (or P.O. Box 37050,
Washington, D.C. 20013) :Send cash. We do not accept checks or money
orders. Please make sure all payments are in small denominations,
preferably $10s or $20s..
<260b> Contact The Office of the Vice President, If he's sleeping,
please wake him.
<300b> ill. ; (Opening of Lower Cerebrum)
<300c> 28 cm.
<500a> Cover title. (Cut and Paste copy to David Iain Greig, moderator
of talk.origins)
<
<500a> Zerox copies distributed to depository libraries in a physical
form, especially to Made in China.
<504a> Includes bibliographical references.
<500a> "GAO/RCED-99-17."
<500a> "B-279928"--P. 1.
<530a> Available via Internet from the GPO Access Web site. Address as
of 4-17-01:
<
WARNING: No Buying or Selling on eBay Until Surgery Completed.
<
http://frwebgate.access.gpo.gov/cgi-bin/getdoc.cgi?dbname=gao&docid=f...
df; current access is available via PURL.
<533a> Microfiche.
<533b> [Washington, D.C.] :
<533c> U.S. General Accounting Office,
<533e> 1 microfiche : negative. (Utra-Sound of Ed Conrad Brain))
<5337> s1999 dcun b
<590a> [cat's meow)
<610a> American Association for the Advancement of Science) Use
confidential phone number to contact
Dr. John Holdren (2008, chairman, of Harvard University and the Woods
Hole Research Center
<
"NO SMOKING IN THE OPERATING ROOM, YOU SON OF A BITCH!"
<
<610v> Rules and practice.
<610a> National Academy of Sciences (U.S.)
<610x> Information services. (Press Release to Major Media)
<610a> copy to Federal Advisory Committee Act. and conspiracy
theorists as to gov't involvement in 911.
<650a> Research institutes (Interview on Larry King Live with
Specimen)
<
<650z> United States. <650a> Science and Ronald Reagan Library
<856u> http://purl.access.gpo.gov/GPO/LPS11177 (Replace Conrad's
Brain if There Was Any))
<856z> Adobe Acrobat Reader required
<994b> GPO
<990a> 20-00028 -- Make sure to send Ed Conrad the bill |
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