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Science Forum Index » Medicine - Vision Forum » What Is Usenet?
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 Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 5:27 am |
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What Is Usenet?
Introduction
Usenet was created at least 100 years ago by basement dwellers and
other nerds as a means of sharing information about how much their
parents were making them pay rent now that they were 30. Usenet
messages are similar to e-mail, except they are public, and anyone can
view and participate in the drama.
The articles that users post to Usenet are organized into topical
categories called "newsgroups," which are themselves logically
organized into hierarchies of subjects. For instance, alt.sex.children
and alt.sex.colostomy are within the alt.sex hierarchy, for sexual
fetishes.
[edit] Influence of Usenet
Usenet is of significant cultural importance for the Internets, having
been the beta testing ground for important Internets features such as
spam, trolling, Internet Law, and the flame war. Usenet pioneered
drama generation in the field of technology and some argue that it is
in fact the grandfather of all lulz on the Internets. Many advanced
linguistic communication techniques also originated or were
popularized on Usenet, such as "NO U" and "I will hack your computer
if you don't STFU."
Today, Usenet features less lulz due to a move towards formats more
accessible to your average 16 year old girl, such as Livejournal and
MySpace. The major advantage it has over blogs, though, is that Usenet
requires no personal registration with the group concerned. This
facilitates drama generation by encouraging trolls, the easy creation
of sock puppets, and so forth. The ability to use any name and email
address enables easy application of classic techniques such as HAHAHA
DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS.
Usenet was vastly improved when AOL added access to its service
package. The influx of millions of AOL members breathed new life into
Usenet, and they were welcomed with open arms.
[edit] Technical Details
At first, Usenet was only used to share erotic furry stories. Then,
one day, after the tubes had expanded, someone figured out that if
binary files were encoded as text, Usenet could be used to share not
only furry stories, but pictures of Japanese people eating each
other's shit. Since then, Usenet has been an important port for
valuable Internets exports such as virii, child porn, and bestiality
videos.
The type of Usenet client one uses is crucial for a positive
experience. The best client to use is of course the AOL newsgroup
reader. Not only does it provide optimal quality and support all
binary encoding types, but it will ensure that everyone else knows you
are an AOL user, which will make Usenet regulars more likely to
respect the opinions expressed in your posts. If your parents canceled
your AOL account, the next best thing is to use Microsoft's Outlook
Express. You should make sure to use MIME encoding when posting binary
attachments to messages, because everyone likes mimes.
Usenet can also be accessed via the Web. Virtually all messages posted
to Usenet are now archived and made available in publicly-searchable
databases, such as Google groups. When Google announced that they
would make publicly available an archive of Usenet text messages
dating back at least 100 years it created much drama and lulz, all the
racist remarks and sexual deviant confessions that had ever been
posted were now easily available for all of the Internets to see. Many
of these had been made when the Internets were obscure and only
basement dwellers who paid for access by the minute knew about them,
and contained the poster's PowerWord: IRL Name, forever pwning them
and creating great lulz for their family and coworkers. This archival
service allows us to forever retain the rich cultural heritage and
historical records that had previously been passed on only through
oral tradition, such as the generous Nigerian man who was always
offering to give anyone half of his vast fortune if they would only
help him transfer it into America by giving him all their bank account
information.
[edit] Social Structure of Usenet
Popper Nettequete should be always be observed on Usenet. Most some of
the most important things to remember:
* Always type your posts in ALL CAPS, as this facilitates easy
reading for the average Usenet user, whose eyes are all squinty like a
Chinese person because of the poor lighting common in most basements.
* When you do not see what you are looking for in a specific
group, you should request it; suggested subject title format is "WHER
R TEH FUCKIGN BRITTNEY SPEARZ N00DZ YOU FUCKING FAGOTS???/?//???/"
o The files you request do not need to relate to the subject
of the group. For example, you may request bestiality porn in
alt.rec.disney.
o To increase your chances of your request being filled, you
should include in your body text the following: "i dunt have teim to
check back here again so plz just email me the files, TIA" (Note that
you should have your real email address filled in for that field for
this to work, but you should do this anyway otherwise you will miss
out on valuable offers.
* When you are ready to move on to posting porn of your own, you
should include PAR2 recovery files to make up for any file corruption
or missing posts that are common on Usenet. The most important thing
to remember about making PAR2 files is to include not only the
archived and split files in the recoverable data, but the original
large .avi file as well.
The kool kids on Usenet hang out in alt.config. This is a lot like ED
IRC except there are no lulz and you can't get a Perma-ban, not even
for sending someone to last measure. Many of the people here are
Usenet server administrators or like to Role Play being such,
consequently they have never had any sex, evar and are quick to anger.
When posting to alt.config you should always remember that alt.config
is serious business. alt.config is where you go to propose new groups,
even though you do not need to propose anything there, ever; all you
have to do is send out a new group command message. alt.config
functions as a forum for inflating the epeens of its regulars and
rejecting all proposals for new news groups. If you fail to propose
your new group in alt.config before sending out the make group
message, all the basement dwellers who frequent it will get their
panties in a bunch and send out remove group messages with the reason
"not discussed on alt.config," which everyone will then ignore.
For lulz, it is encouraged to send out remove group messages to remove
alt.config with the reason "not discussed on alt.config," as
alt.config was not discussed on alt.config before it was created.
One of the biggest things alt.config regulars have a problem with is
the naming conventions for groups. Thus, it is encouraged to create
groups with entirely new hierarchies, particularly ones that are
really sentences with periods instead of spaces, for example
george.bush.is.a.faggot.and.i.hate.him.a.lot; this creates 11
different groups with one message, and moar is always better.
http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Usenet
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