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Science Forum Index » Psychology Forum » Advice Please!!
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| Author |
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| Robin |
 Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2003 7:32 pm |
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Guest
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Here is the conversation that I had with my step brother, I need advice!
We haven't really talked to eachother for a while, basically, I've been
going through severe anxiety and depression and he doesn't seem to have much
concern --he practically lives at his friend's house. I'm DoggyKiss3 and he
is Ralphaliscous.
Ralphaliscous: Hey
DoggyKiss3: hi
Ralphaliscous: do you hate me?
DoggyKiss3: no
Ralphaliscous: then why haven't we been talking?
DoggyKiss3: b/c you haven't been talking to me, and you aren't very nice.
Ralphaliscous: Uh, why aren't I very nice, and why should I have to be the
one to talk to you?
DoggyKiss3: Because you are the only one who hasn't cared or worried about
me, everyone else, even your dad has put in there input and has shown some
kind of consideration but you.
Ralphaliscous: why should I be showing consideration for someone who won't
even talk to me? If I remember correctly, you were the one that was mean to
me. So I stopped talking to you. And yeah, okay, maybe I haven't said
anything about you to you, but I have talked to my dad about it. And I'm
trying to keep my friends out of the house for you
DoggyKiss3: how was i mean to you?
Ralphaliscous: You made fun of my hair and you were coming off extremely
rude
DoggyKiss3: so just because i had one bad day and said that your hair cut
needed some improvements you stopped talking to me, that's bullshit!
Ralphaliscous: Bull shit eh? yeah, I'll tell you what bull shit is. That
YOU didn't even TRY talking to me
DoggyKiss3: that's because whenever you would come home I would get this
wave of depression and cry all the time, I don't want someone who doesn't
care about me to see me like that...
Ralphaliscous: You make up things and your head and start believing them.
If you told me how you felt. I spent two weeks with you, and I had fun.
Then when I started hanging out with my friends again, you took it like I
never wanted to talk to you again
DoggyKiss3: No! okay, I tried talking to you about how I felt, and yes then
you spent some time with me, so I thought maybe you actually took it to
heart, then I find out that you only spent time with me because your friends
were gone and you had no one else to hang out with!
Ralphaliscous: HOW COULD YOU FIND OUT THAT WAS MY REASON IF I NEVER EVEN
SAID THAT?!
Ralphaliscous: Robin, if I didn't care about you, I wouldn't be talking to
you right now, I wouldn't have talked to Italia about this last night, and
it wouldn't have been bothering me all the rest of summer
DoggyKiss3: Because after I noticed that you hadn't gone out I said, "where
are your friends at?" and you said, "they went to the beach."
Ralphaliscous: and...?
DoggyKiss3: Well if it was bothering you, you never said anything
Ralphaliscous: Why would I have said anything if you were going to cry? I
feel/felt like you hate/hated me
DoggyKiss3: For a while I did hate you, you are the biggest manipulater
ever! Your grandmother even said so when we first met you, I just always
tried to look past what they said and be your friend. Now I know how you
really are and I've come to terms that you are a sociopath who will probably
end up in jail and you don't deserve my compassion. Hate is too close to
love, and you haven't earned that kind of recongition.
Ralphaliscous: What are you talking about?
DoggyKiss3: If you want me to even consider you, you need to earn back my
trust, which will take a really really long time.
Ralphaliscous: I have done nothing to break your trust
DoggyKiss3: You have done everything
Ralphaliscous: Name one thing
DoggyKiss3: you don't need to "do" anything, it's how you act.
Ralphaliscous: How do I act?
DoggyKiss3: You tell rusty that you don't care about anything that happens
to me because you don't think that you brought any of this on.
Ralphaliscous: I never said that
DoggyKiss3: Yes you did.
Ralphaliscous: Oh, I'm sorry, did he record this?
DoggyKiss3: No, but you did.
Ralphaliscous: ?
DoggyKiss3: you save every single IM.
Ralphaliscous: you went on my computer?
DoggyKiss3: Back when i hated you! I wanted to know how you really felt
DoggyKiss3: and I found out.
Ralphaliscous: That's when I hated you as weel
Ralphaliscous: Isn't it you who hates people just because then hate you?
Ralphaliscous: Because I remember you saying that
Ralphaliscous: Robin
Ralphaliscous: You are unbelievable
Ralphaliscous: If I didn't care about you
DoggyKiss3: yea, but like I said, Hate is close to love
Ralphaliscous: If I didn't want to help
DoggyKiss3: now I don't care about you.
DoggyKiss3: You don't want to help me!
Ralphaliscous: THEN WHY DID I TALK TO JOE KHAN LAST NIGHT!? WHY DID I MAKE
ARRANGEMENTS FOR HIM TO "STOP" BY WHILE DROPPING ME OFF FROM CHESS CLUB?
Ralphaliscous: WHY DID I TALK TO ITALIA LAST NIGHT FOR A GOOD HALF AN HOUR?
Ralphaliscous: Oh I know... it must be me not caring
Ralphaliscous: Sorry
DoggyKiss3: It wasn't half an hour, and why do you have to talk to my
friends and not me?
Ralphaliscous: How many times do I have to tell you that I think you hate
me?
DoggyKiss3: I don't hate you anymore.
Ralphaliscous: How would I know that?
Ralphaliscous: Because you're so forthcoming when I'm at home?
DoggyKiss3: Now it's worse then hate.
Ralphaliscous: than
Ralphaliscous: Fine.
Ralphaliscous: Whatever
DoggyKiss3: Hate means I care.
Ralphaliscous: Whatever you want is whatever you'll get
Ralphaliscous: Goodbye
And a min. later:
Ralphaliscous: that is so messed up
DoggyKiss3: what?
Ralphaliscous: I write down what I think and feel
Ralphaliscous: You, just say it to who ever will listen
DoggyKiss3: what?
Ralphaliscous: so YOU, YOU have something to hold against me. And I have
nothing to hold against you
Ralphaliscous: YOu get angry that I called you a bitch. You get angry that
I say things that I might now know what I'm talking about. WE ALL DO IT!
Ralphaliscous: I feel that way then
Ralphaliscous: But not after words
Ralphaliscous: You have called me names
Ralphaliscous: you have done shit to everyone
Ralphaliscous: EVERYONE DOES STUPID THINGS TO ONE ANOTHER
DoggyKiss3: But you take it too far.
Ralphaliscous: No. I don't
Ralphaliscous: You apparently do
DoggyKiss3: You manipulated me, You told me I was your best friend and then
I find out that you only care about me when your friends aren't around.
Ralphaliscous: I never fucking said that
DoggyKiss3: Then you stop talking to me
DoggyKiss3: You didn't have to!
Ralphaliscous: You aren't understanding
DoggyKiss3: aren't understanding what?
DoggyKiss3: then Explain it
Ralphaliscous: that you made all that shit up about me in your fucking head
DoggyKiss3: what did I make up
Ralphaliscous: I still talked to you when I hung out with matt, when I hung
out with my friends
Ralphaliscous: you are the one that shut me off
Ralphaliscous: or that's how I felt
Ralphaliscous: I was waiting for you to approach me
Ralphaliscous: and you "don't care" about me because I was doing the exact
same thing you wre?
Ralphaliscous: Oh, that makes sense
DoggyKiss3: I'm going through a lot of crap right now, I can't be the one
who approaches you!
Ralphaliscous: I AM YOUR FRIEND! Or atleast was. You should have been able
to contront me with anything
DoggyKiss3: I can't! you don't understand!!
Ralphaliscous: BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T TALK TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING
DoggyKiss3: It is so hard to do anything right now!
DoggyKiss3: It's so hard to talk to people!
DoggyKiss3: Whenever I do I cry all the time, and then I hate myself
DoggyKiss3: Trying to deal with this is sooo much easier when I don't have
to worry about you.
DoggyKiss3: I would much rather be your friend, but it's sooo hard!!
DoggyKiss3: And no one understands me!
Ralphaliscous: because you won't let them understand
DoggyKiss3: I can't explain it..it's hard...
DoggyKiss3: Oh...no I'm all emotional!!! and I can't calm down..... and no
one is here....
Ralphaliscous: I'll come home if you need me to
DoggyKiss3: i don't konw.... I don't really want to see anyone...
DoggyKiss3: i want my mom
Ralphaliscous: call her cell?
Ralphaliscous: oh, she's at church
DoggyKiss3: no, she just gets annoyed
DoggyKiss3: she's at the store.
Ralphaliscous: then why do you want her?
DoggyKiss3: she's so tired of me...because i need someone...
Ralphaliscous: someone?
DoggyKiss3: i don't konw
Ralphaliscous: obviously you do
DoggyKiss3: I think i
DoggyKiss3: I've calmed down
DoggyKiss3: I'm sorry.
Ralphaliscous: ?
DoggyKiss3: what?
Ralphaliscous: you type confusingly?
DoggyKiss3: i tried to type like i would talk
DoggyKiss3: oh Ryan i'm going to die...
Ralphaliscous: What?
DoggyKiss3: ok, sorry, i'm trying to calm myself down
Ralphaliscous: Did you take all that medication?
DoggyKiss3: yes
Ralphaliscous: like... the bottle worth?
DoggyKiss3: not all at once.
DoggyKiss3: but i've gone through some bottles of it
Ralphaliscous: did you just overdose?
DoggyKiss3: noooo
Ralphaliscous: Oh, good... you scared me...
DoggyKiss3: I'm going to go, Rusty wants to call his dad.
DoggyKiss3: can you do me a favor?
Ralphaliscous: what?
Ralphaliscous: sorry
DoggyKiss3: can you call Italia and tell her that I don't think she can come
over today...don't say anything about that I'm all panicy or depressed, just
say that I got busy.
Ralphaliscous: what's her number
Ralphaliscous: I'll say you went shopping
Ralphaliscous: with katie
DoggyKiss3: 407-***-****
DoggyKiss3: ok
Ralphaliscous: WAIT
DoggyKiss3: what?
Ralphaliscous: What do I tell people at school when they ask why you aren't
there?
Ralphaliscous: the first week I just said you were said
DoggyKiss3: who asks?
Ralphaliscous: clevelynn and comp
DoggyKiss3: Clevelynn knows, Emily knows, Italia knows, Wajiha sort of
knows.
DoggyKiss3: Stephanie sort of knows, Candy...I think knows
Ralphaliscous: i think lyndsey asked
DoggyKiss3: Ashley doesn't...
DoggyKiss3: oh, she knows, I think she was just curious as to what you would
say
DoggyKiss3: she tried talking to you a few days before and you just ignored
her... Clevelynn told me
Ralphaliscous: italia isn't picking up her phone
DoggyKiss3: leave a message.
Ralphaliscous: when?
DoggyKiss3: oh... she must be on the phone.
DoggyKiss3: try back a little bit
Ralphaliscous: who tried talking to me?
DoggyKiss3: Lindsey
Ralphaliscous: when did she try talking to me?
DoggyKiss3: I have to go now, I think I'll go lay down
DoggyKiss3: earlier...
Ralphaliscous: alright
Ralphaliscous: later |
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| Maxie P. Diddly |
| Posted: Sun Sep 07, 2003 5:58 am |
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Guest
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"Robin" <DoggyKiss3@bellsouth.net> wrote in message
news:vAw6b.1325$W5.1022@bignews4.bellsouth.net...
Quote: Here is the conversation that I had with my step brother, I need
advice!
We haven't really talked to eachother for a while, basically, I've
been
going through severe anxiety and depression and he doesn't seem to
have much
concern --he practically lives at his friend's house. I'm
DoggyKiss3 and he
is Ralphaliscous.
He sounds like he loves and cares for you.
Quote: Ralphaliscous: Hey
DoggyKiss3: hi
Ralphaliscous: do you hate me?
DoggyKiss3: no
Ralphaliscous: then why haven't we been talking?
DoggyKiss3: b/c you haven't been talking to me, and you aren't very
nice.
Ralphaliscous: Uh, why aren't I very nice, and why should I have to
be the
one to talk to you?
DoggyKiss3: Because you are the only one who hasn't cared or worried
about
me, everyone else, even your dad has put in there input and has
shown some
kind of consideration but you.
Ralphaliscous: why should I be showing consideration for someone who
won't
even talk to me? If I remember correctly, you were the one that was
mean to
me. So I stopped talking to you. And yeah, okay, maybe I haven't
said
anything about you to you, but I have talked to my dad about it.
And I'm
trying to keep my friends out of the house for you
DoggyKiss3: how was i mean to you?
Ralphaliscous: You made fun of my hair and you were coming off
extremely
rude
DoggyKiss3: so just because i had one bad day and said that your
hair cut
needed some improvements you stopped talking to me, that's bullshit!
Ralphaliscous: Bull shit eh? yeah, I'll tell you what bull shit is.
That
YOU didn't even TRY talking to me
DoggyKiss3: that's because whenever you would come home I would get
this
wave of depression and cry all the time, I don't want someone who
doesn't
care about me to see me like that...
Ralphaliscous: You make up things and your head and start believing
them.
If you told me how you felt. I spent two weeks with you, and I had
fun.
Then when I started hanging out with my friends again, you took it
like I
never wanted to talk to you again
DoggyKiss3: No! okay, I tried talking to you about how I felt, and
yes then
you spent some time with me, so I thought maybe you actually took it
to
heart, then I find out that you only spent time with me because your
friends
were gone and you had no one else to hang out with!
Ralphaliscous: HOW COULD YOU FIND OUT THAT WAS MY REASON IF I NEVER
EVEN
SAID THAT?!
Ralphaliscous: Robin, if I didn't care about you, I wouldn't be
talking to
you right now, I wouldn't have talked to Italia about this last
night, and
it wouldn't have been bothering me all the rest of summer
DoggyKiss3: Because after I noticed that you hadn't gone out I said,
"where
are your friends at?" and you said, "they went to the beach."
Ralphaliscous: and...?
DoggyKiss3: Well if it was bothering you, you never said anything
Ralphaliscous: Why would I have said anything if you were going to
cry? I
feel/felt like you hate/hated me
DoggyKiss3: For a while I did hate you, you are the biggest
manipulater
ever! Your grandmother even said so when we first met you, I just
always
tried to look past what they said and be your friend. Now I know
how you
really are and I've come to terms that you are a sociopath who will
probably
end up in jail and you don't deserve my compassion. Hate is too
close to
love, and you haven't earned that kind of recongition.
Ralphaliscous: What are you talking about?
DoggyKiss3: If you want me to even consider you, you need to earn
back my
trust, which will take a really really long time.
Ralphaliscous: I have done nothing to break your trust
DoggyKiss3: You have done everything
Ralphaliscous: Name one thing
DoggyKiss3: you don't need to "do" anything, it's how you act.
Ralphaliscous: How do I act?
DoggyKiss3: You tell rusty that you don't care about anything that
happens
to me because you don't think that you brought any of this on.
Ralphaliscous: I never said that
DoggyKiss3: Yes you did.
Ralphaliscous: Oh, I'm sorry, did he record this?
DoggyKiss3: No, but you did.
Ralphaliscous: ?
DoggyKiss3: you save every single IM.
Ralphaliscous: you went on my computer?
DoggyKiss3: Back when i hated you! I wanted to know how you really
felt
DoggyKiss3: and I found out.
Ralphaliscous: That's when I hated you as weel
Ralphaliscous: Isn't it you who hates people just because then hate
you?
Ralphaliscous: Because I remember you saying that
Ralphaliscous: Robin
Ralphaliscous: You are unbelievable
Ralphaliscous: If I didn't care about you
DoggyKiss3: yea, but like I said, Hate is close to love
Ralphaliscous: If I didn't want to help
DoggyKiss3: now I don't care about you.
DoggyKiss3: You don't want to help me!
Ralphaliscous: THEN WHY DID I TALK TO JOE KHAN LAST NIGHT!? WHY DID
I MAKE
ARRANGEMENTS FOR HIM TO "STOP" BY WHILE DROPPING ME OFF FROM CHESS
CLUB?
Ralphaliscous: WHY DID I TALK TO ITALIA LAST NIGHT FOR A GOOD HALF
AN HOUR?
Ralphaliscous: Oh I know... it must be me not caring
Ralphaliscous: Sorry
DoggyKiss3: It wasn't half an hour, and why do you have to talk to
my
friends and not me?
Ralphaliscous: How many times do I have to tell you that I think you
hate
me?
DoggyKiss3: I don't hate you anymore.
Ralphaliscous: How would I know that?
Ralphaliscous: Because you're so forthcoming when I'm at home?
DoggyKiss3: Now it's worse then hate.
Ralphaliscous: than
Ralphaliscous: Fine.
Ralphaliscous: Whatever
DoggyKiss3: Hate means I care.
Ralphaliscous: Whatever you want is whatever you'll get
Ralphaliscous: Goodbye
And a min. later:
Ralphaliscous: that is so messed up
DoggyKiss3: what?
Ralphaliscous: I write down what I think and feel
Ralphaliscous: You, just say it to who ever will listen
DoggyKiss3: what?
Ralphaliscous: so YOU, YOU have something to hold against me. And I
have
nothing to hold against you
Ralphaliscous: YOu get angry that I called you a bitch. You get
angry that
I say things that I might now know what I'm talking about. WE ALL
DO IT!
Ralphaliscous: I feel that way then
Ralphaliscous: But not after words
Ralphaliscous: You have called me names
Ralphaliscous: you have done shit to everyone
Ralphaliscous: EVERYONE DOES STUPID THINGS TO ONE ANOTHER
DoggyKiss3: But you take it too far.
Ralphaliscous: No. I don't
Ralphaliscous: You apparently do
DoggyKiss3: You manipulated me, You told me I was your best friend
and then
I find out that you only care about me when your friends aren't
around.
Ralphaliscous: I never fucking said that
DoggyKiss3: Then you stop talking to me
DoggyKiss3: You didn't have to!
Ralphaliscous: You aren't understanding
DoggyKiss3: aren't understanding what?
DoggyKiss3: then Explain it
Ralphaliscous: that you made all that shit up about me in your
fucking head
DoggyKiss3: what did I make up
Ralphaliscous: I still talked to you when I hung out with matt, when
I hung
out with my friends
Ralphaliscous: you are the one that shut me off
Ralphaliscous: or that's how I felt
Ralphaliscous: I was waiting for you to approach me
Ralphaliscous: and you "don't care" about me because I was doing the
exact
same thing you wre?
Ralphaliscous: Oh, that makes sense
DoggyKiss3: I'm going through a lot of crap right now, I can't be
the one
who approaches you!
Ralphaliscous: I AM YOUR FRIEND! Or atleast was. You should have
been able
to contront me with anything
DoggyKiss3: I can't! you don't understand!!
Ralphaliscous: BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T TALK TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING
DoggyKiss3: It is so hard to do anything right now!
DoggyKiss3: It's so hard to talk to people!
DoggyKiss3: Whenever I do I cry all the time, and then I hate myself
DoggyKiss3: Trying to deal with this is sooo much easier when I
don't have
to worry about you.
DoggyKiss3: I would much rather be your friend, but it's sooo hard!!
DoggyKiss3: And no one understands me!
Ralphaliscous: because you won't let them understand
DoggyKiss3: I can't explain it..it's hard...
DoggyKiss3: Oh...no I'm all emotional!!! and I can't calm down.....
and no
one is here....
Ralphaliscous: I'll come home if you need me to
DoggyKiss3: i don't konw.... I don't really want to see anyone...
DoggyKiss3: i want my mom
Ralphaliscous: call her cell?
Ralphaliscous: oh, she's at church
DoggyKiss3: no, she just gets annoyed
DoggyKiss3: she's at the store.
Ralphaliscous: then why do you want her?
DoggyKiss3: she's so tired of me...because i need someone...
Ralphaliscous: someone?
DoggyKiss3: i don't konw
Ralphaliscous: obviously you do
DoggyKiss3: I think i
DoggyKiss3: I've calmed down
DoggyKiss3: I'm sorry.
Ralphaliscous: ?
DoggyKiss3: what?
Ralphaliscous: you type confusingly?
DoggyKiss3: i tried to type like i would talk
DoggyKiss3: oh Ryan i'm going to die...
Ralphaliscous: What?
DoggyKiss3: ok, sorry, i'm trying to calm myself down
Ralphaliscous: Did you take all that medication?
DoggyKiss3: yes
Ralphaliscous: like... the bottle worth?
DoggyKiss3: not all at once.
DoggyKiss3: but i've gone through some bottles of it
Ralphaliscous: did you just overdose?
DoggyKiss3: noooo
Ralphaliscous: Oh, good... you scared me...
DoggyKiss3: I'm going to go, Rusty wants to call his dad.
DoggyKiss3: can you do me a favor?
Ralphaliscous: what?
Ralphaliscous: sorry
DoggyKiss3: can you call Italia and tell her that I don't think she
can come
over today...don't say anything about that I'm all panicy or
depressed, just
say that I got busy.
Ralphaliscous: what's her number
Ralphaliscous: I'll say you went shopping
Ralphaliscous: with katie
DoggyKiss3: 407-***-****
DoggyKiss3: ok
Ralphaliscous: WAIT
DoggyKiss3: what?
Ralphaliscous: What do I tell people at school when they ask why you
aren't
there?
Ralphaliscous: the first week I just said you were said
DoggyKiss3: who asks?
Ralphaliscous: clevelynn and comp
DoggyKiss3: Clevelynn knows, Emily knows, Italia knows, Wajiha sort
of
knows.
DoggyKiss3: Stephanie sort of knows, Candy...I think knows
Ralphaliscous: i think lyndsey asked
DoggyKiss3: Ashley doesn't...
DoggyKiss3: oh, she knows, I think she was just curious as to what
you would
say
DoggyKiss3: she tried talking to you a few days before and you just
ignored
her... Clevelynn told me
Ralphaliscous: italia isn't picking up her phone
DoggyKiss3: leave a message.
Ralphaliscous: when?
DoggyKiss3: oh... she must be on the phone.
DoggyKiss3: try back a little bit
Ralphaliscous: who tried talking to me?
DoggyKiss3: Lindsey
Ralphaliscous: when did she try talking to me?
DoggyKiss3: I have to go now, I think I'll go lay down
DoggyKiss3: earlier...
Ralphaliscous: alright
Ralphaliscous: later
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| Representative Trantis |
| Posted: Sun Sep 07, 2003 10:49 am |
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Guest
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This sounds to me to be a lot simpler than it is perceieved to be. You are
both regarding the other as being offish with you. As a result you are
offish to them, and as a result of that we have it back at stage one. It
sounds like a loop. Basically the simplest way would be to say to each
other, "Look, we've had our ups and downs recently, can we just start again
for a bit". Then you can become friends again, and as you start showing each
other a bit of friendship and attention the loop will work in the oposite
direction. |
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