Dear Troll,

Thank you for your troll. Your troll has been evaluated by
our panel of experts. Here are the results of our tests.

We found that your troll was...
[ ] Incomprehensible
[ ] Offensive
[x] Just plain stupid
[ ] Without merit
[ ] Grammatically incorrect
[ ] Laced with spelling and punctuation errors
[ ] Laden with circular reasoning
[ ] Laced with misunderstandings of basic scientific principles
[ ] Somewhat too revealing of your minimal mental abilities
[ ] Too similar to other trolls submitted in the past

You could improve your troll considerably by...
[x] Including a few actual facts
[ ] Taking remedial English lessons
[ ] Mentioning that you are a professional
[x] Stating more falsehoods as facts than you already have
[ ] Swearing more
[ ] Including more colorful personal insults
[ ] Using the phrases "you people" or "those people" more
[ ] Modifying your insults to cover larger groups of people at once
[ ] Ranting incoherently
[ ] Using religious or racial slurs
[ ] Using the words "junk", "crap", "garbage", "toy", "flimsy" and
"Professional" more frequently
[ ] Using childish taunts
[ ] Including fake laughter such as "ha ha ha" or "har de har de har"
[ ] Focusing on just one outrageous topic will give your troll more punch
[ ] Ignoring any facts, and using more absolutes in your troll
[ ] Using all capital letters
[ ] Focusing more on those areas in which "your" view is better than "their"
view
[x] Exaggerate more, you need not be limited by facts

Please get a...
[ ] life
[x] grip
[ ] job
[x] clue
[ ] book on basic history/astronomy
[ ] note from your mom
[ ] telescope

You should...
[ ] Have someone who can read review your postings
[ ] Save your postings for later and think if you really want to send them
[ ] Take your medication
[ ] Not have "one for the road" next time
[ ] Stay in school
[ ] Go and buy whatever eyepiece you want, we don't care
[ ] Think about other people's feelings before you post
[x] Get your ego boost some other way
[ ] Realize that by trolling a group you hurt everyone, not just the people
you are mad at
[ ] Go away so we can talk about astronomy
[ ] Put up a web site with your name on it to show the world
[x] Take down your web site, it's not very good


Suggested other activities besides trolling...
[x] Posting something constructive
[x] Actually having a look through a telescope
[ ] Helping someone else
[ ] Spending some time with your family instead of your magazines
[ ] Working off that big pot belly
[ ] Get your ego boost instead by helping out at a local hospital
[ ] Consider another hobby that does not require contact with other humans
e.g. mortuary science

Thank you for your submission.

You have...
[ ] passed
[ ] passed with honors
[x] failed, must try harder

Rick wrote:

VTrade, you might want to lay off the bong for a few months.

That's an unwarranted insult to the world's cannabis users.