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Science Forum Index » Space - History Forum » OM has lost his lower leg
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| Anonymous |
 Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2008 4:47 pm |
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A bald man with one leg wanted to go to a fancy dress
party but he didn't know what to go as. OM wrote to a
fancy dress company and asked for a recommendation.
The reply came back saying that OM could go as a monk
because of his bald head. He replied angrily saying that
they were just being rude about his bald head.
The company apologized and wrote back saying that OM
could go as a pirate, his bald head could be covered
by the hat and his wooden leg would complement the outfit.
He replied angrily saying they were just being rude about
his wooden leg.
A few days later OM received a parcel with a note.
In the parcel was a pot of sticky toffee and the note
said smear the toffee over your head, stick your wooden
leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple! |
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| Pat Flannery |
| Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 12:24 am |
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cfleon@hotmail.com wrote:
Quote: Not after I develop Linebacker Leg it isn't.
How about 'Lovely Leg'? A feminine offering, fitted to taste, coming
with a selection of garters, for the Sailor Senshi of the Day look!
They cut his lower leg off, not his testicles. 
This guy has type "A" male heterosexual written all over him.
Remember his work with the strippers?
That reminds me about Woody Allen's line out of "What's Up, Pussycat?":
"So you help dress the strippers at the Penthouse Men's Club? What's the
money like?"
OM: "Fifty dollars a week."
"That's not very much."
OM: "It's all I can afford." :-D
Pat |
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| Scott Hedrick |
| Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 12:37 pm |
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"Bob the Tomato" <bob@tomato.com> wrote in message
news:qg8mv3hc2cd3iia9d1gq2lsem9skms1e6o@4ax.com...
Quote: Please pass along our best wishes to Bob for a speedy and complete
recovery. The group isn't the same without him.
Now he can replay the "reformed Lt. Dan", at least if he gets a titanium
leg. You know, "the stuff they make the Space Shuttle out of <whack whack>".
** Posted from http://www.teranews.com ** |
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| OM |
| Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 1:03 am |
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On Sat, 26 Apr 2008 13:38:59 -0400, "Scott Hedrick"
<dinehnmNOSPAM@yahoo.com> wrote:
Quote: "Pat Flannery" <flanner@daktel.com> wrote in message
news:U8udnYBDceSnzmHanZ2dnUVZ_hGdnZ2d@northdakotatelephone...
They cut his lower leg off, not his testicles. ;-)
So he *did* mark the other two legs with a big "NO!", then...
....A big one and a medium-sized one, at least.
....What's up with this, Scott?
OM
--
]=====================================[
] OMBlog - http://www.io.com/~o_m/omworld [
] Let's face it: Sometimes you *need* [
] an obnoxious opinion in your day! [
]=====================================[ |
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| OM |
| Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 3:18 am |
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On Mon, 28 Apr 2008 01:57:44 -0500, Pat Flannery <flanner@daktel.com>
wrote:
Quote: Considering some of the horrible stories I've read about in regards to
taking the wrong things off or out during surgery in the past few years,
that might be a wise thing to do.
....It should be noted that in both operations, they had me mark the
leg to be worked on with a big "YES". I did so, but wrote the "YES"
mirror-imaged to frack with the surgical team.
OM
--
]=====================================[
] OMBlog - http://www.io.com/~o_m/omworld [
] Let's face it: Sometimes you *need* [
] an obnoxious opinion in your day! [
]=====================================[ |
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| Pat Flannery |
| Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 4:18 am |
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Quote:
...It should be noted that in both operations, they had me mark the
leg to be worked on with a big "YES". I did so, but wrote the "YES"
mirror-imaged to frack with the surgical team.
Oh, dear God... Rhonda was right about being "petrified", wasn't she?
Now tell us about how many leeches they attached to you to drain the
"Evil Humours" that might attach to your leg in that phase of the Moon.
Shit, you should have stuck with that original Chinese doctor; the whole
situation could have been avoided with enough ground rhino horn in green
tea and a lodestone under your hospital bed to get the Chi force on your
side...and getting out of the hospital by having to raise up the red-hot
bronze cauldron with your inner arms to open the doors would seem like a
wise choice now.
Okay, acupuncture may seem extreme... but I want you to carefully
consider the beneficial and life-extending effects it had on this
pigeon: http://l.yimg.com/www.flickr.com/images/spaceball.gif
If a 12 gauge shotgun had been fired at that pigeon, it's doubtful it
would be alive today.
Okay... nowadays its thoughts are a bit confused; but it's a pea-brained
pigeon, so how does that affect it's lifestyle?
Maybe it now perches on the underside of tree limbs, but the other
pigeons probably figure it's gay or something, and don't want to
challenge its alternative lifestyle.
Pat |
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| Pat Flannery |
| Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 4:39 am |
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Pat Flannery wrote:
Quote:
Okay, acupuncture may seem extreme... but I want you to carefully
consider the beneficial and life-extending effects it had on this
pigeon: http://l.yimg.com/www.flickr.com/images/spaceball.gif
If a 12 gauge shotgun had been fired at that pigeon, it's doubtful it
would be alive today.
Okay... nowadays its thoughts are a bit confused; but it's a
pea-brained pigeon, so how does that affect it's lifestyle?
Maybe it now perches on the underside of tree limbs, but the other
pigeons probably figure it's gay or something, and don't want to
challenge its alternative lifestyle.
That was supposed to be this, in case it didn't show up:
http://flickr.com/photos/26336303@N00/2409780816/
(God-Damned Gay Pigeon Agenda!)
"Would you like to comment?"
You're God-damned right I would like to God-damned comment!
Get your God-damned brain-damaged homo pigeon photos right off the
God-damned Internet, that's what I'd like to comment!
Pat |
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| Scott Hedrick |
| Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 6:16 am |
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"OM" <om@all_trolls_must_DIE.com> wrote in message
news:v4qa141ge3hcpkmk6gkscnu34b9dj493f3@4ax.com...
My ISP is Wildblue. They decided to drop their Usenet servers and use Google
Groups. Since I usually read offline, I hunted around until I found an
alternative, in this case, Teranews. It's free, and except for the ad, so
far works exactly the same as Wildblue did.
This is why I wasn't around for a few weeks- I was busy with life and it
took a while to find the time to get access to the newsgroups again.
** Posted from http://www.teranews.com ** |
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