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Science Forum Index » Medicine - Lyme Forum » This Year's Darwin Awards
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| Greatcod |
 Posted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 2:26 pm |
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Guest
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As always, competition this year has been keen. The candidates this
year are...
9. In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of
water after squeezing head-first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to
retrieve his car keys.
8. A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he
ran," accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run.
7. Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had
dug caved in on him. Beach-goers said Daniel Jones, 21, dug the hole
for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been sitting in a beach
chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying him
beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach, on the outer banks,used
their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident
of Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue workers
using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people
looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
6. Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell
face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing
onto the floor. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed
in his mouth - to keep his hands free - rammed into the base of his
skull as he hit the floor.
5. This one is an annual qualifying event: Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26,
was killed in Selbyville, Del, as he won a bet with friends who said he
would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and
pull the trigger.
4. The following mind-boggling attempt at a crime spree in Washington,
DC appeared to be the robber's first (and last), due to his lack of a
previous record of violence, and his terminally stupid choices:
1) His target was H&J Leather & Firearms - a gun shop specializing in
handguns;
2) The shop was full of customers (firearms customers);
3) To enter the shop the robber had to step around a marked police
patrol car parked at the front door; and
4) A uniformed officer was standing at the counter, having coffee
before work.
Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and
fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer, with a 9mm
GLOCK 17, and the clerk, with a .50 DESERT EAGLE, promptly returned
fire, assisted by several customers who also drew their guns, several
of whom also fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by
Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge
cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds.
Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was
hurt in the exchange.
3. HONORABLE MENTION Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover
Township, NJ, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, when a
quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in their car. While driving around at
2 AM, the bored and drunk couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it
out the window to see what would happen, but the window was closed.
2. RUNNER UP: TACOMA, WA. Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several
friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped
from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The
conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men, apparently still
drinking, trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon
arrival at the midpoint of the bridge where Bingham had volunteered to
jump, they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham
pointed out a coil of lineman's cable that laid nearby. One end of the
cable was secured around his leg and the other end was tied to the
bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his
foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy
salt water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say"
said Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me on that night,
there's just no other explanation for it." Bingham's foot was not
located.
1. AND THE WINNER: Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt
(Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of
animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes
before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let it fly, suffocating the
keeper under 200 pounds of dung. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich,
46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when
the relieved beast unloaded on him. "The sheer force of the elephant's
unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he
struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued
to evacuate his bowels on top of him," said stunned Paderborn police
detective Erik Dern. "With no one there to help him, he laid under all
that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and during
that time he suffocated." If anything, this proves "Shit happens." |
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