Hetware wrote:
Dirk Bruere at NeoPax wrote:


Something I know well is that changing how one feels and behaves is not
as simple as knowing these are ill advised.

Then maybe you should be seeking the strength to do what you know is
right. Of course, even as we make our big mistakes some major part of us
knows we are wrong.

Dirk Bruere at NeoPax wrote:

Hetware wrote:
Dirk Bruere at NeoPax wrote:


Something I know well is that changing how one feels and behaves is not
as simple as knowing these are ill advised.
Then maybe you should be seeking the strength to do what you know is
right. Of course, even as we make our big mistakes some major part of us
knows we are wrong.

Strength implies the ability to apply force. Needing strength to change
ones behavior suggests there is some obstacle to be moved, or counter-force
to be overcome. I'm not sure that "overpowering" ones current behavioral
tendencies is the way to effect change. Just the opposite might be in
order. It's almost as if trying to force a change merely strengthens the
mechanisms maintaining the current behavior.

"Hetware" <not at (no spam) home.none> wrote in message
news:5MSdndFLIeJKtjjXnZ2dnUVZ_vydnZ2d at (no spam) speakeasy.net...
(snip)

Hetware wrote:
I'm still looking for a woman who wants children.

Hetware, not only do women have a biological clock,
but it appears men have one also.

https://publicaffairs.llnl.gov/news/news_releases/2006/NR-06-06-01.html

Remember, you are only 4 years younger than I. You're
really pushing it in terms of quality for reproduction.

You're going to have to assess whether or not you
are able to afford to take that risk.

You might have to consider reassessing just what it
is you want out of life. It may turn out that a more
realistic goal for you may be to find a suitable partner to
share your life you without children.

Anyway, you can google for more information about
sperm quality and age. Degeneration of DNA appears
to be one of those concerns.

Take care,
Heidi

but she is pretty, isn't she?

Yes, she is.

Heidi Graw wrote:

but she is pretty, isn't she?
Yes, she is.


I believe it's finally over. I could say a lot of hurtful things about her.
But I really do still care about her. She is just too far gone for me to
accept.

http://www.speakeasy.org/~hattons/bad-habit.jpg

Hetware wrote:
Heidi Graw wrote:

but she is pretty, isn't she?
Yes, she is.


I believe it's finally over. I could say a lot of hurtful things about
her.
But I really do still care about her. She is just too far gone for me to
accept.

http://www.speakeasy.org/~hattons/bad-habit.jpg

Not bad looking.

"Hetware" <not at (no spam) home.none> wrote in message
news:v62dnWNPDfgKQFLXnZ2dnUVZ_hudnZ2d at (no spam) speakeasy.net...

Hetware wrote:
I miss her terribly. I wish I could help her. I don't even know how to
find
her right now. She is hiding from everybody who cares about her.

"Hetware" <not at (no spam) home.none> wrote in message
news:v62dnWNPDfgKQFLXnZ2dnUVZ_hudnZ2d at (no spam) speakeasy.net...

(snip)

Hetware wrote:
I miss her terribly. I wish I could help her. I don't even know how to
find
her right now. She is hiding from everybody who cares about her.

sigh> What a tragic story!

Why can't you just simply find a nice young woman
who knows how to bake cookies and knit baby booties?

Oh nevermind! They don't make those kinds anymore!

Besides, you would probably find someone like that
really boring! <chuckle

Ah well...out of 3 billion or so females out there,
there's got to be one for Steven! Arghhh...

...needle in the haystack...keep looking...

Take care,
Heidi

Heidi Graw wrote:

"Hetware" <not at (no spam) home.none> wrote in message
news:v62dnWNPDfgKQFLXnZ2dnUVZ_hudnZ2d at (no spam) speakeasy.net...
(snip)

Hetware wrote:
I miss her terribly. I wish I could help her. I don't even know how to
find
her right now. She is hiding from everybody who cares about her.
sigh> What a tragic story!

Why can't you just simply find a nice young woman
who knows how to bake cookies and knit baby booties?

Oh nevermind! They don't make those kinds anymore!

Besides, you would probably find someone like that
really boring! <chuckle

Ah well...out of 3 billion or so females out there,
there's got to be one for Steven! Arghhh...

...needle in the haystack...keep looking...

Take care,
Heidi


I changed my phone number so she can't call. I suspect she will go into
shock tomorrow. She is used to me being an immovable rock in a raging sea
of madness. I have always been there for her, without fail. I am not
unreachable - unless she is willing to risk the trip out to my apartment
which is well of her beaten path. She does have a key. If she uses it, I
will probably roll over and play dead. She has me at her mercy. She may
not know that, however.

Unless she uses the Net.

Hetware wrote:

I changed my phone number so she can't call. I suspect she will go into
shock tomorrow. She is used to me being an immovable rock in a raging
sea
of madness. I have always been there for her, without fail. I am not
unreachable - unless she is willing to risk the trip out to my apartment
which is well of her beaten path. She does have a key. If she uses it,
I
will probably roll over and play dead. She has me at her mercy. She may
not know that, however.

Unless she uses the Net.

FFF
Dirk

"Hetware" <not at (no spam) home.none> wrote in message
news:0PidnaVBUswwzUjXnZ2dnUVZ_qidnZ2d at (no spam) speakeasy.net...
(snip)

I wanted to help her.

"Hetware" <not at (no spam) home.none> wrote in message
news:0PidnaVBUswwzUjXnZ2dnUVZ_qidnZ2d at (no spam) speakeasy.net...
(snip)

I wanted to help her.

Well, I'm sure you did your best.
And I'm glad you realized that you
have your limits. The kind of help
she needs is way beyond the scope
of what you could provide.

I think you probably also learned
by now that she's going to have
to hit *her own* rock bottom which
will force her to make a decision
as to whether or not she wants
to live or die. If she wants to live,
she knows the professional help
is out there.

But, this has got to be awfully
painful for you, too, to know you
have to stand aside while you watch
her go down this awful downward
spiral. You cannot rescue her.
She has to do this on her own
for herself. Sink or swim. Only
she can decide what it is she
will ultimately end up doing.

You'll get through this painful
time, Steven. You've had worse
experiences which you managed
to conquer and you can do it again.

"Hetware" <not at (no spam) home.none> wrote in message
news:6dCdnX9N94KeSkrXnZ2dnUVZ_o2dnZ2d at (no spam) speakeasy.net...
(snip)

Steven wrote:
I have always told her, and I will tell you, the help she need is very
simple. It is called "love".

If she would just open her heart to it, she
would heal.

Steven wrote:
The one thing she seem to be in denial about is
the fact that she is killing herself.

Steven wrote:
People can help others.

My biggest problem with her is that I
have gotten too close. I can't stand back
and > let her go when I need to. I need her.
I am addicted to her like she is addicted to
vodka.

Damn! I miss that girl!