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Guest
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Now listen carefully! From now on, you have to be a Bar or Bat
Mitzvahed Jew with a 100 average through the PH.d. level to be
admitted to any Church of Christ. This rule applies no matter if you
are a world-class athlete, performer, artist, or whatever your chosen
profession. You have to be a Jew with a PH.d., J.D., or M.D. degree
just to be a Christian congregationer, let alone a parish priest,
minister, monk, or nun from now on regardless of your socio-economic
level or state of physical health! Is this clear? The passing grade
in Christian schools is100 at every level; even one slip on final
examinations, and you will be excommunicated henceforth! Getting 100
is not as hard as you think; it only boils down to making sure you
have a 100 on every single homework problem in the book and the way to
do this was simply to go over all the ones you couldn’t get right with
someone who knew the answer, memorizing those particular solutions if
necessary! Memorization is all there is to it, hence, it will pay to
master all those methods the ancients used to enhance it as early on
in life as possible. If you did not graduate with a 100 average in
your particular major, you can correct the past by simply getting a
100 in a more challenging subject such as theoretical physics,
engineering, or medicine, at a higher post graduate level. A
Christian was greater than King Solomon; this is why this rule exists
for all in our Church! If you are presently a Christian of any stripe,
you have until January 1, 2050 to meet these standards or you will be
excommunicated. Also, if you ever get more than a little smashed on
anything, you will be released by the Holy Ghost; you cannot smoke,
drink or use drugs as a Christian. Is this clear?
If the above standards seem unfair, know that they are not. We that
love Jesus are Jews, and we don’t mess around; quit messing around
down here! A Christian’s I.Q. wasn’t under 200 and Jesus knows this
which is why by the time He comes back down here, certain of you
people are going to die. Don’t ever lie about my behind to any woman
down here ever again, especially in the Spirit where you do as well,
do you understand me?
En passant, I will note here that my business references include three
former and the current President of the United States, two Popes, two
Archbishops of New York City, governors, mayors, senators, university
heads, and the leaders of every major nation in Europe, and my
personal references included Grammy winning recording artists,
supermodels, a former Miss America, as well as Wharton, Cornell, and
Stanford graduates! What were yours? The point here is to be somebody
before you go around here running off at the mouth about Tom Adams
okay!
Let them that have ears hear what the Spirit says unto the Churches of
the Living God! |
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