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| ~.*.Saba Gracile.*.~... |
 Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 5:16 pm |
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MILLIONS NOW LIVING WILL NEVER DIE-You can take that to the bank.
1914 is a very significant date for true believers Here is why:
Faithful and eager students of the Scriptures figured out (and
"proved") Jesus would return to kill the wicked and reward the meek in
1874. The signs were obvious.
But, it didn't happen.
Faithful and eager students (the ones who didn't get disgusted and
leave) sought to prop up this "return" by Jesus. They found an out.
Jesus actually did return. But, he was now your invisible friend who
could only be "seen" metaphorically.
Wink wink-nudge nudge.
Armageddon would bring destruction after a brief preaching opportunity.
The year eventually was identified: 1914. This was promoted, preached,
published and "proved" once again. It was "god's date, not ours".
But, it didn't happen.
But.......
At least something happened!
WWI began.
Okay, back to the drawing board. What went wrong and what went right?
What about Armageddon?
Okay---wait! Wait! I got it! I got it!
Jesus returned invisibly---NOT in 1874 at all. (Forget that. Don't even
think about it. It never happened. Pay no attention to that man behind
the curtain.)
Jesus returned invisibly in 1914!
Remember that brief delay before Armageddon? You know, the one between
1874 and 1914? Well, we get to do it all over again. We will preach,
promote, publish and pump it for all it is worth. Armageddon will
come...hmmm....maybe in 1918!
But, it didn't happen!
Oh, Jeez. What now? Lemme see....got to think...got to think....hmmmmm.
I know! I know!
Jesus selected the group whom he would work with in 1918 based on their
faithful preaching about the phoney date for Armageddon which was
"God's date, not ours" and completely embarrassing. He picked Judge
Rutherford's hijacked corporate cronies to be the new instrument of
spreading the good news! Yeah, Baby!
How close is the end? MILLIONS NOW LIVING WILL NEVER DIE! You can take
that to the bank. After all, the corporation does!
And, by the way, what we said about Russell being the "faithful and
wise servant"......?
That was wrong too. But, wait! We have it right now. This time we are
right. No---listen...listen...
The corporate cronies of Judge Rutherford's hijacked publishing company
are the real "Faithful and Wise Servant". You see, they are a kind
of...umm....well...conglomerate anti-type.
Get it? The "Servant" isn't a person---singular (you silly blockhead!)
but an Anti typical group...sort of.
Now we'll really get things right because we are chosen directly by
King Jesus to spread the only TRUE message about his kingdom. Jesus
himself is directing our message.
What? You say, "What is the message Jesus is directing"? Uh....hold on.
We'll let you know in a minute..................bzzz bzzz bzzz......
GOT IT!
The Armageddon scenario is any second now (we'll explain more about
that eventually). The important thing is the ANCIENT WORTHIES will be
resurrected by 1925. And, wink wink--nudge nudge you know what that
implies don't you?
For the resurrection to take place.......ARMAGEDDON has to have taken
place! Yeah, baby!
We are building a mansion in San Diego for Abraham and the other
righteous dudes to live in. President Rutherford will keep everything
cozy for them until they claim their homestead.
But, it didn't happen!
Ummm, cough cough. Uh....guess what?
The actual for real message we are supposed to preach has been right
there in front of us all this time and ONLY NOW has King Jesus seen fit
to reveal it through us. Extra! Extra! Read all about it: we are now
not simply Christians. That ain't good enough. No way. We are JEHOVAH'S
WITNESSES!
Our job (now) is to publish the good news about JEHOVAH! We'll uncover
the fact that Jah is the editor of our illustrious Watchtower Magazine!
If you thought King Jesus did a great job giving us New Light---just
wait until Jehovah starts pumping revelation and prophecy onto our
pages of Truth.
We can prove we are special and different from other so-called
Christians.
1.We are the only ones who spread true prophecy by the direction of the
King in the name of his Father Jehovah. (That stuff about 1884, 1914,
1918 and 1925 proves it because we were EAGER FOR PROPHECY to be
fulfilled! You see? Accuracy isn't as important as eagerness.)
2. We are different. We don't use aluminum cookware! We don't believe
germs cause disease. We won't let our children risk recovery in the
emergency room; we'll deny blood transfusions. We will shave off Jesus'
beard and tear off 1/2 the cross and make it a "torture stake".
We'll urge door to door insulting of other people's beliefs and hold
ourselves up as the only people with pure worship. Like what? We won't
indulge in charity activity, won't build schools or universities or
hospitals. We'll do important things instead. Like what? Ummm, we'll
sell the Awake! and Watchtower with all this "eager" stuff in it.
3. We'll get ourselves arrested whenever possible and, even though we
don't support government by our vote, we'll leech off "religious
liberty" from the Supreme Court.
4.The Superior Authorities in Romans 13, by the way, is not state
government. Ohhh nooo. It is Jehovah God and Jesus Christ. We know that
because we alone have King Jesus and his father Jehovah whispering true
Truth in our ears.
5. Ummm.....The New Light...for now...is that Romans 13 actually refers
to the state government and not to Jehovah God and Jesus Christ. We
know that because....ummm......oh screw it!
6. Keep busy!
7.Okay, we need money. To get money (for Jehovah's work, of course) we
are now prepared to hint and insinuate when Armageddon will happen and
THIS TIME we will be 100% accurate. See our chronology prepared by the
anonymous bible scholar X? (Pay no attention to that Freddy Franz
behind the curtain at night classes in city college.) The date is 1975.
8.We really mean it.
9.It's gonna come. Be ready. Sell your houses, quit your jobs and
Pioneer!!!!!
10. Uhhhhhhhh............We were really eager about this and you guys
ran ahead of us and ASSUMED something that didn't happen. SHAME ON YOU!
11. Get busy! We are watching everything you do. It isn't US that has
the problem you doubting Thomases! It is YOU! Tow the line. March in
step or we'll put your name on Abaddon's list of "goats to smash at
Armageddon".
12. Armageddon is still coming. We know this because we are the only
religion on earth that has a 100% record when it comes to Bible
Prophecy. (100% eager if not completely in alignment with demonstrable
occurrence.)
All those Internet rumors about 607 B.C.E. not being a true starting
point for figuring the year 1914 are meaningless. Why? Because they
contradict god's true religion: Jehovah's Witnesses. How do we prove
that? Easy.
We are Jehovah's Faithful and Discreet Slave. We know that because we
predicted that 1914 was an important date. Well, dammit, 1914 WAS an
important date. We got that part right.
Therefore, everything else we have ever said doesn't matter because we
got one little part of 1914 right. See,wiseguy?
If 607 B.C.E. is not a real date....then HOW did we get that one little
part of 1914 right? Huh, huh? Well? Huh?
Our famous "NEW LIGHT" proves we are fearless when it comes to
revealing the mind of Jehovah and this fearlessness is evident by our
never being sorry when we are utterly wrong.
Sure it SEEMS like we are false prophets bringing shame on the name of
Jehovah because we publish our human opinion and pass it off as
Truth-----but, that isn't important!! Here is the only important thing:
APOSTATES are spreading tales in attacking the Governing Body. This
proves they are siding with Satan. How? They oppose us. Simple.
And, last but not least.....
Whatever we say you have to do even if what we ask you to do is wrong.
Why? Because it proves you are mild tempered and obedient. Only a
person who thinks for themselves would dream of going against us. And
that would prove they were Apostate. And, um, evil.
So, 1914 is a very important date because:
1.We say so.
2.We always said so; even when we were wrong about most of it.
3.We can only be the Faithful and Discreet Slave if 1914 is true. So,
man, it GOTTA be true.
4.For 1914 to be true; 607 B.C.E. has to be true. If it is wrong it is
only because it looks wrong and cannot be proved----and not because it
is actually wrong.
5.Stop asking about it!! You are really pissing us off.
6. MILLIONS NOW DYING WILL NEVER LIVE!
End of discussion.
Coming soon: Armageddon (we are eagerly optimistic and accurate).
------
by Terry Walstrom |
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