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Movies Forum Index » Movie Reviews Forum » Review: Speed Racer (2008)...
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| Steve Rhodes... |
 Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 12:45 am |
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SPEED RACER
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 2008 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****): 1/2
I wanted to race to the exits after 10 minutes of this unwatchable, would-be
eye candy, which is so nauseating that it could induce vomiting. There is
nothing speedy about the film, as it runs a horribly bloated 136 minutes.
Based on an old cartoon series, SPEED RACER is by the Wachowski brothers.
Their last film, V FOR VENDETTA, was about a bomb, while their latest is a
bomb.
The targeted age group for the movie is completely unclear. Although it is
rated a kid friendly PG, the movie features a young boy who gives the finger
to an adult he doesn't like and includes one explicitly bloody fight. I
think it's really a PG-13 picture.
The Wachowski brothers' most famous production is their MATRIX trilogy. One
of the most memorable scenes from it is a mind-blowing explanation about
what the Matrix is really all about. It is long, complex and intentionally
hard to follow. In SPEED RACER, they use the same technique in a long and
convoluted explanation about corporate mergers and soaring stock prices. The
problem is that, for anyone to follow the film's ridiculous story line, one
has to comprehend this verbose explanation, which will go right over the
heads of all of the kids -- and probably most of the adults as well.
A blend of live action and CGI, the movie has the retro look of TRON, but
painted strictly in the bright primary colors of a kindergartener's crayons.
The racers zip around on tracks that appear almost like Escher prints. The
editing and the cinematography turn everything into one big -- and
colorful -- blur, so that it is always completely impossible to figure who
is ahead. And, as previously mentioned, its flashing lights and blurry
images may literally make some viewers ill.
The movie borrows liberally from many other movies, most notably BEN HUR in
the shenanigans of the chariot racing. These sequences had some impact back
in the 1950s but add little to SPEED RACER. The movie also plays like a
wacked-out, steroid-laced version of the remake of the remake of WILLY WONKA
& THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY.
Emile Hirsch, who was so great last year in his performance in INTO THE
WILD, which should have earned him at least an Oscar nomination, sleepwalks
his way this time in the title role. Speed's parents, that would be Mr. and
Mrs. Racer, are not played any better by John Goodman and Susan Sarandon. In
fact, none of the actors in the film attempt anything approaching actual
acting. But the award for the worst of the lot has to be given to Matthew
Fox ("Lost"), who plays the mysterious Racer X. Fox delivers a performance
that is one-note shy of a one-note performance.
The story is minimal and confusing but involves an idealistic young racer
named Speed, who eschews an extremely lucrative corporate sponsorship, lest
he lose his independence. Roger Allam plays the nefarious Mr. Royalton, a
zillionaire with crooked, yellowing teeth, who promises Speed guaranteed
riches if he signs a contract and certain oblivion and poverty if he
doesn't.
Before the movie's obvious ending of the big race, we have to endure a long
and sappy gabfest at the Racer household. If your audience is like ours, the
kids will be very fidgety by then and the babies will start to howl.
Hopefully, however, you'll have long since bailed on this movie and be
watching something else at your local multiplex. I sat through it all so
that you don't have to.
SPEED RACER runs way, way, way too long at 2:16. It is rated PG for
"sequences of action, some violence and language" and would be acceptable
for kids around 10 and up.
My son Jeffrey, age 19, gave it ***, saying that it is for fans of the
series only, of which he is one. He liked the way the movie never took
itself too seriously. He found it entertaining and even liked the fat young
brother and the monkey, his two least favorite characters from the series.
Jeffrey's girlfriend Yasmin, age 18, gave it ***, saying that she thought
the movie would be good for kids. She liked the bright colors and the story
but found the racetracks' intricate layouts confusing.
The film is playing in nationwide release now in the United States. In the
Silicon Valley, it is showing at the AMC theaters, the Century theaters and
the Camera Cinemas.
Web: http://www.InternetReviews.com
Email: Steve.Rhodes at (no spam) InternetReviews.com
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