We've all heard horrible 5.1 remixes of films never intended to be in 5.1.
But I'm sure with a little imagination, we could do even worse. So lets see
how you would approach doing the worst possible remix.

You have two priorities: 1) Keep costs down as much as possible. 2) Make the
track satisfactory for those DVD buyers who don't like a disc unless they
hear sounds all around them and the room shakes every so often from the
subwoofer (you know the type; they review DVDs for Web sites). Wasting time
and money on any other priority, such as the integrity of the original mix,
is a fireable offense.

What would you do?

Lincoln

We've all heard horrible 5.1 remixes of films never intended to be in 5.1.
But I'm sure with a little imagination, we could do even worse. So lets see
how you would approach doing the worst possible remix.

Let's set the stage: Your employer has acquired the rights to some Hollywood
film of the 30's or 40's. Which one doesn't matter; what matters is that the
sound is an optical mono mix that survives only on a well-used release
print. There are no surviving stems. Your job is to remix the sound for 5.1.

You have two priorities: 1) Keep costs down as much as possible. 2) Make the
track satisfactory for those DVD buyers who don't like a disc unless they
hear sounds all around them and the room shakes every so often from the
subwoofer (you know the type; they review DVDs for Web sites). Wasting time
and money on any other priority, such as the integrity of the original mix,
is a fireable offense.

and money on any other priority, such as the integrity of the original mix,
is a fireable offense.

My own technique: I'd put the original track through the center speaker,
then add jungle animal sound effects (even if the film is set in Manhattan)
to the other four. Every music cue would get synthesized base for the LFE.

What would you do?

We've all heard horrible 5.1 remixes of films never intended to be in 5.1.
But I'm sure with a little imagination, we could do even worse. So lets see
how you would approach doing the worst possible remix.

Let's set the stage: Your employer has acquired the rights to some Hollywood
film of the 30's or 40's. Which one doesn't matter; what matters is that the
sound is an optical mono mix that survives only on a well-used release
print. There are no surviving stems. Your job is to remix the sound for 5.1.

You have two priorities: 1) Keep costs down as much as possible. 2) Make the
track satisfactory for those DVD buyers who don't like a disc unless they
hear sounds all around them and the room shakes every so often from the
subwoofer (you know the type; they review DVDs for Web sites). Wasting time
and money on any other priority, such as the integrity of the original mix,
is a fireable offense.

AMPAS has just awarded a post-humous Oscar to Stanley Kubrick
for the greatest surround sound effect in cinema history:
"A pink cashmere sweater has been found in the lobby."

On 18 Dec 2003 19:23:26 GMT, morris@sce-12.sce.carleton.ca (Bob
Morris) wrote:

AMPAS has just awarded a post-humous Oscar to Stanley Kubrick
for the greatest surround sound effect in cinema history:
"A pink cashmere sweater has been found in the lobby."

I agree...though I think it was "a blue ladies' cashmere sweater..."
Why don't we compromise with "a pink lady's cashmere sweater." Then it could

We've all heard horrible 5.1 remixes of films never intended to be in 5.1.
But I'm sure with a little imagination, we could do even worse. So lets see
how you would approach doing the worst possible remix.

Let's set the stage: Your employer has acquired the rights to some Hollywood
film of the 30's or 40's. Which one doesn't matter; what matters is that the
sound is an optical mono mix that survives only on a well-used release
print. There are no surviving stems. Your job is to remix the sound for 5.1.

You have two priorities: 1) Keep costs down as much as possible. 2) Make the
track satisfactory for those DVD buyers who don't like a disc unless they
hear sounds all around them and the room shakes every so often from the
subwoofer (you know the type; they review DVDs for Web sites). Wasting time
and money on any other priority, such as the integrity of the original mix,
is a fireable offense.

My own technique: I'd put the original track through the center speaker,
then add jungle animal sound effects (even if the film is set in Manhattan)
to the other four. Every music cue would get synthesized base for the LFE.

What would you do?

Lincoln

If you are going to do a FUN 5.1 re-mix, then make it a true, authentic
movie theater experience.

The original mono audio mix drops into the center channel, while the
chomping of popcorn from every direction transports you to a modern day
cinema. ..What's that sound behind me?? A cell-phone! ..One of the patrons
must have forgot to shut off his or her cell phone. Imagine that. When the
film has quieter sections you can hear the outdated A/C system kick on in
the front left and right channels (it's a shame we don't have a 'height'
audio channel yet, as this would have been a natural.) Then from surround
right: "Mommy... Mommy... I have to pee!!!" From the surround left, which
is even louder "SHHHHHHHHH". In the left front- a loud whisper is heard
"..Watch this next scene... coming up next, that guy is going to grab the
gun ..and then... and then..." Now there are new whispers to the right
.... "The book was so much better, I blame the director. Did I ever tell
you I met him once? A total ass, but I got his autograph....." And if you
have a center back EX channel, you can hear someone in the far back of
your home theater yelling "FOCUS!! ... FOCUS!!...."

OK, maybe it's a good thing we don't have a home version of
smell-a-vision. ;)



"Lincoln Spector" <Notreally@myemailaddress.com> wrote in message
news:<v23Eb.41098$LT7.8834@newssvr29.news.prodigy.com>...
We've all heard horrible 5.1 remixes of films never intended to be in
5.1.
But I'm sure with a little imagination, we could do even worse. So lets
see
how you would approach doing the worst possible remix.

Let's set the stage: Your employer has acquired the rights to some
Hollywood
film of the 30's or 40's. Which one doesn't matter; what matters is that
the
sound is an optical mono mix that survives only on a well-used release
print. There are no surviving stems. Your job is to remix the sound for
5.1.

You have two priorities: 1) Keep costs down as much as possible. 2) Make
the
track satisfactory for those DVD buyers who don't like a disc unless
they
hear sounds all around them and the room shakes every so often from the
subwoofer (you know the type; they review DVDs for Web sites). Wasting
time
and money on any other priority, such as the integrity of the original
mix,
is a fireable offense.

My own technique: I'd put the original track through the center speaker,
then add jungle animal sound effects (even if the film is set in
Manhattan)
to the other four. Every music cue would get synthesized base for the
LFE.

What would you do?

Lincoln