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Hobby Forum Index » Folk Dancing » A Vast Anti-Booking Conspiracy!
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| velodancer |
 Posted: Sat Jun 26, 2004 10:16 am |
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OK, that was mostly to catch your eye. But I am somewhat serious.
I danced at Glen Echo last night and had an amazing time. Danced with
several incredible first timers who within a seeming 30 seconds, were
better than the median dancers there. And as has been the case lately
with the Spanish Ballroom, I have only been able to dance with about
half of the partners I would have wished to dance with over the course
of the evening.
Truly great time! Did I mention that Swallowtail was the band? So I
was rather taken aback when a woman approached me between dances and
said that she thought that I was the rudest dancer she had ever met. I
just had to ask why and she said that in the forward and back, I never
made eye contact or acknowledged her presence, that my head was turned
90 degrees the entire forward and back laughing with my partner (she
demonstrated for me). Then she walked away while I was in mid sentence
(and making eye contact).
If I was having a bad time, a comment such as this would have
devastated me. Since I was having such a great time, I was able to
shrug it off particularly since I also had an unusual amount of
complements last night. But this brought up a couple of interesting
questions that I thought worth posting here.
For some background on the whole acknowledging thing, it is considered
polite to acknowledge your partner and neighbor in many common
figures, and sometimes your neighbor's partner. I almost never miss
even if I am engaged in conversation or a quick quip with a neighbor
or partner. I make eye contact, nod my head, and often say a couple of
words. I acknowledge everyone in a Petronella twirl and on a right and
left balance.
As an aside, at Glen Echo, only one out of ten men will make eye
contact in a left and right balance and about the same for a good
balance. One out of ten men will not even make eye contact. In other
smaller venues, eye contact rates are a lot higher. I'm thinking over
50% at Greenfield for example. And even woman only make eye contact or
acknowledge your presence about 80 to 90% of the time.
But a forward and and back? Come on! Does anyone here think that you
should make eye contact with others on this figure? I usually only
make eye contact with my partner who is across from me most of the
time. As it happens, in this particular dance, she was by my side and
I will admit to having engaging conversations with my partners last
night and paying them a lot of attention. Who should you acknowledge
in the opposite line? If my partner is a long way removed, I will
acknowledge the woman who is closest to being opposite - not
necessarily my current neighbor - in many figures, you don't even know
who that neighbor might be in a forward and back. And if you do know,
often she is offset from you and acknowledging the person across from
her.
And I admit to never thinking about this before. It seems natural to
make eye contact only with your partner during a forward and back in
long lines.
This woman clearly had some personal issues with me for some reason. I
do remember her clearly before she spoke to me because I did meet her
in line and had eye contact. And I can have some empathy for her
feelings. It can be annoying to pass a couple in line who are
completely ignoring the rest of the line. I myself usually find it
cute but nevertheless say something spontaneous (attempting humor)
that usually results in such a couple acknowledging our presence at
least for a moment (which I think counts).
And I know that is human to feel some jealousy when you come across
people just having an outrageously good time. I have felt it, although
I can only tune in to this when I am not having such a great time.
But I have to wonder if this is all part of a vast anti-booking
conspiracy where it is considered not only politically incorrect to
choose with whom you would like to dance with (as opposed to the first
random person you meet after a dance), but also politically incorrect
to even pretend that you have a partner and give equal acknowledgement
to all.
Other questions that arise from this are in what figures is it
appropriate to acknowledge others? A hey for four is often suggested
by the caller to try making eye contact with your partner through the
figure continuously. Never in many years dancing did I think that it
was mandatory in a forward and back. Heck, I would be happy if all the
people I swung (in either role) acknowledged me.
The next question is how to socialize dancers that are not following
local community customs? I think a confrontation and calling someone
rude would not be on the list. In the last ten years of dancing, I can
think of two other incidents and I was hurt each time and never wanted
to return to that venue. It was apparently harder of the confronter
because I never saw them again (also the case last night).
And there may be other questions. Is it OK to converse with your
partner while dancing? How about neighbors? How about smiling and
laughing and flirting with your partner? What about with your
neighbors? |
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| Mean Green Dancing Machin |
| Posted: Sat Jun 26, 2004 11:15 am |
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Guest
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In article <25e78672.0406260706.10af03c5@posting.google.com>,
velodancer <commerce48@yahoo.com> wrote:
Quote:
But a forward and and back? Come on! Does anyone here think that you
should make eye contact with others on this figure?
Yup, my usual practice is to make eye contact with the person directly
across from me.
Quote: This woman clearly had some personal issues with me for some reason. I
do remember her clearly before she spoke to me because I did meet her
in line and had eye contact. And I can have some empathy for her
feelings. It can be annoying to pass a couple in line who are
completely ignoring the rest of the line. I myself usually find it
cute but nevertheless say something spontaneous (attempting humor)
that usually results in such a couple acknowledging our presence at
least for a moment (which I think counts).
Yup. I do that, too, but usually only when I know at least one of the
couple.
Quote: And I know that is human to feel some jealousy when you come across
people just having an outrageously good time. I have felt it, although
I can only tune in to this when I am not having such a great time.
Yup.
Quote: But I have to wonder if this is all part of a vast anti-booking
conspiracy where it is considered not only politically incorrect to
choose with whom you would like to dance with (as opposed to the first
random person you meet after a dance), but also politically incorrect
to even pretend that you have a partner and give equal acknowledgement
to all.
Just chalk it off to an idiot.
Quote: Other questions that arise from this are in what figures is it
appropriate to acknowledge others? A hey for four is often suggested
by the caller to try making eye contact with your partner through the
figure continuously.
Really? I don't pay much attention to the caller, but general practice
around here (SF Bay Area) is to give eye contact to each person you're
passing in a hey.
Quote: The next question is how to socialize dancers that are not following
local community customs? I think a confrontation and calling someone
rude would not be on the list.
Absolutely. You might even consider complaining to the event organizers
about this incident.
Quote: And there may be other questions. Is it OK to converse with your
partner while dancing? How about neighbors? How about smiling and
laughing and flirting with your partner? What about with your
neighbors?
I've got two different positions on this because of my hearing
impairment. I can't participate much in such activities, and I do feel
a tiny bit left out. But I do recognize that this is part of dancing
for many or most people, and I don't think there's anything wrong with
it. I certainly do plenty of non-verbal flirting with people I'm
dancing with, partner or not.
--
--- Aahz <*> (Copyright 2004 by aahz@pobox.com)
Hugs and backrubs -- I break Rule 6 http://rule6.info/
Androgynous poly kinky vanilla queer het Pythonista
Why does President Bush hate war vets? |
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