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| Michelle... |
 Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 3:34 pm |
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The question of "When can I wear a race tee shirt?" comes up at times.
Here is a comprehensive guide as to when you should and, more importantly,
should not wear it.
I have to credit
<http://badbenkc.blogspot.com/2007/09/proper-t-shirt-etiquette.html> for
this list. The prefatory note is the author's, not mine.
Note: This is meant to be a tongue-in-cheek review of the sometimes
superstitious regard runners and triathletes have for their finisher
shirts. My personal view: I don't care if you wear your shirts wrapped
around your head in an ever-expanding turban...so please, no nasty-grams
back to me on back-channel e-mail. Have fun.
T-Shirt Etiquette Guidelines:
1. A shirt cannot be worn unless the wearer has participated in the event.
There is an exception, though: "significant others" and volunteers are
exempt.
2. Any race tee, less than a marathon distance, shouldnıt be worn to an
ultramarathon event. This goes double for the wearing of sprint-tri shirts
to Ironman and Half-Ironman events. It simply doesnıt represent a high
enough "cool factor " and sends a red flag regarding your rookiness. It's
like taking a knife to a gunfight. It's probably best just to wear a
generic name-brand athletic shirt, and go hide in a corner until race time.
3. When you are returning to a race in which you have previously finished,
then wear the shirt from the first year you completed the race. Donıt
short-change yourself by wearing the shirt from the year before. It doesnıt
adequately display the feat of accomplishment or the consummate veteran
status that you are due.
4. Never wear a race event shirt for the (same) race you are about to do.
Only rookies do this. It displays a total lack of integrity and might put
the bad-heebee-jeebee-mojo on you for the race. Wearing a T-shirt of the
race, while currently running said race, is discouraged. Itıs like being at
work and constantly announcing "Iım at work". Besides, you wont have the
correct post-race shirt then...unless you like to wear sweaty, pitted-out
clothes on a regular basis. If you do, then go back to the swamp, Gomer.
5. Never wear a shirt from a run that you did not finish. To wear a race
shirt is to say "I finished it". Exceptions: see guideline #1.
6. A DNFıer may wear a race shirt if... the letters DNF are boldly written
on the shirt in question (using a fat Sharpie or a Marks-A-Lot).
7. During a race, the wearing of shirt from a previously completed year is
acceptable. Wear the oldest T-shirt you have from that race (see guideline
#3). This is probably a good practice because you now have no excuse to
drop out since youıve done it before.
8. If possible, runners should buy significant others T-shirts which can be
worn without regard to running the race. (see guide #1). Keep in mind, they
support your "running Jones" more than you think. They also have ways of
punishing you that you can't even imagine. Or maybe you can.
9. Volunteers have full T-shirt rights and all privileges pertaining
thereto. So there. Remember, you can always volunteer for a race and get a
shirt. I encourage this as your civil duty to be a member of the running
community. Races don't happen without volunteers, folks.
10. No souvenir shirts: therefore, friends or anyone else not associated
with the race may not wear a race shirt. If your mom thinks that your
Boston shirt is lovely, tell her to QUALIFY for Boston herself, & send in
her application early for next year, so she can earn her own shirt. A
downside to this: she still has plenty of time to write you out of her will
between her training runs for the big race. Note that your mom CAN wear
your finisher's shirt under one of these 4 conditions- 1) you still live
with your mother; 2) she funded your trip to the race; 3) she recently
bailed you out of the slammer; or 4) All of the above. There is an
exception to this guideline: (refer to # 1...If you are a "non-traditional
family," and your mom actually is your Significant Other).
11. Always wear the race shirt of your last race at the current raceıs
pre-race briefing. The more recent the race, the better. This is a good
conversation starter. However, avoid the tendency to explain how that it
was a training run for this, and this is just a training run for the next,
etc. It just sounds like your rationalizing mediocre performances.
Sometimes itıs best to live in the here and now.
12. Your t-shirt should be kept clean, but dried blood stains are okay,
especially if it is a trail race or a particularly tough event. If you're
an ultrarunner, you can even leave in mud and grass stains, (and porcupine
quills). Not washing-out the skunk scent is pushing the macho thing a bit
too far, though.
13. Never wear a T-shirt that vastly out-classes the event you're running.
Itıs like taking a gun to a knife fight. Or like unleashing an atomic bomb
among aboriginal natives. You get the idea.
14. Also: never wear a blatantly prestigious T-shirt downtown or at the
mall among non-running ilk. People will just think you have a big head,
which you do. You'll also get stupid questions, like, "how long was that
marathon?" If it's a shirt to a 50 or 100-miler, they'll think it's a shirt
for a cycling event or just think you're totally nuts, which (of course),
you probably are.
15. Never, ever, borrow a race finisher's shirt from another runner to wear
to an event that you didn't run. If you do, remember that in Dante's
Inferno, he wrote about a special Hell for characters such as you; right
between Tax Collectors and Lawyers.
16. The Bad Ben Guideline: All children or grandchildren of mine can wear
hand-me-down race finisher's shirts for races that I've run in. When they
are asked, "did you run in that 100-mile trail race?" They can proudly
respond, "no, but my daddy (or grandad) did." If your progeny has put-up
with you being an ultrarunner, they have said rights too. If you have
completed an Ironman, your kids also have the same rights. They've put up
with a lot of crap (or outright neglect) over the years, and deserve to
wear them.
17. The Bryner Guideline: Never wear a shirt that has more sponsors listed
on it than people that ran in the event. (Are you listening, race
directors?) A shirt with too many sponsorship logos on it is just plain
ugly. If you're a race director, and have scored that many sponsors, how
about sharing the wealth? Just give me a call at 555-6565, and ask for "Bad
Ben." By the way, you can let ANYONE wear this ugly shirt; non-finishers
and distant relatives, alike. If you respect your friends, kids, spouse or
mother, though, you won't let any of them wear it. It would serve well as
bedding in your kid's gerbil cage.
18. Never wear a shirt that has any sponsors on it that you don't agree
with. For instance, if you're a Vegan, you shouldn't wear a shirt that
proudly advertises "Omaha Steaks" on it. If you wear this shirt, the "Karma
Gremlins" will catch-up with you . I swear that's why I fell and broke my
nose in my last 50-mile trail run, or why I had plantar fascitis for most
of '99. I never should have ran in the 1998 "Fantastic 4-Miler." Why would
they enlist a sponsor from an North Korean land-mine manufacturer, anyway?
19. The Spencer Guideline: If an event is cancelled at the last minute, but
the event shirts were already given out, you can't wear the shirt unless
you actually ran the race on that day. This means you will have to run your
own unsupported event, through snow storms, hurricanes, or whatever lame
excuse the Race Organizers came up with for cancelling said event. If you
still want to wear the shirt, you have to mark it with a sharpie, "I didn't
run this lousy event, and I'm all the better for it, thank you," across the
front of it.
20. This next one is a big one, and has something to do with the need for
more good taste and asthetics in this sometimes ugly world. Never wear a
shirt that is so old, thin, and threadbare that you can see the color of
your nipples or chest hair through it. This seems to be just a "guy thing,"
especially and old-codger-runner-guy thing. Here's the test guys: if you're
too scared to machine-wash your 1978 Tab Ten-Miler shirt for fear of it
wafting down the drain as meer subatomic particles, then it's probably too
transparent to wear in public. If you can (still) remember your great
performance at that particular day and you want to save it for posterity,
PLEASE have it framed so that you can keep it on the wall of your den or
your "I love me" room, and (at least) out of public view. Better yet, have
it sewn into a quilt. You can then sit on your couch and read back-copies
of Runner's World, cuddled up with your "runner's binky," with a glass of
warm milk.
21. By the way, if you don't know what terms like DNF, volunteer, or
Significant Other are, then you shouldn't wear any race shirt until you
know what they mean, and you shouldnıt have any meaningful relationships,
either. You should probably become a hermit and/or New Age "Tantric"
runner, sitting at home in the lotus position performing virtual marathons
in your mind, while sniffing used GU packets, incense, and patchouli.
T-shirts must be used sensitively. Worn responsibly, they can help expand
one's consciousness and immerse you in a great conversation with your
running brethren. Worn stupidly, they can cause fright, horror, vacant
stares, sprained ankles, and general social unrest. Don't be a "T-shirt
Terrorist." Follow proper T-shirt etiquette to do your part for world peace.
--
26.2 Because I can |
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| Michelle... |
| Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 8:15 am |
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In article
<993e835f-7706-4831-951d-860fe7e84440 at (no spam) m25g2000vbi.googlegroups.com>,
pithydoug <dfreese at (no spam) hvc.rr.com> wrote:
Quote: I Iike to wear a 5k tee to an ultra race to tweak those few snobs. 
Last year, I did the opposite; I wore my Nike Women's Marathon finisher's
tee to a 5K three weeks afterwards.
--
26.2 Because I can |
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