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Guest
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James, as usual, came home really late one Saturday night after being
at the bar all night drinking. Not only was he drunk, he was sloppy
drunk.
He carefully crept into bed next his wife, who fell sleep angry hours
earlier, and gave her a goodnight kiss on the check in hopes that she
wouldn't wake up.
He awoke in the middle of the night to a strange man standing at the
end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. Who the hell are
you, demanded James, and what are you doing in my bedroom? The
mysterious man answered This is not your bedroom, and my name is St.
Peter.
James didn't take the news so well… You mean I'm dead! That can't be,
I have so much to live for, I haven't even said goodbye to my family…
you've got to send me back right away!
St. Peter replied You cannot go back as you were, you have passed away
James. However, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch.
We can only send you back as a dog or a hen. James was devastated, but
knowing that there was a farm just down the road from his house,
he asked to be sent back as a hen.
A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking around
pecking at corn on the ground. This ain't so bad, he thought until he
felt a strange feeling churning inside him. The farmyard rooster
strolled over and said So you're the new hen, huh? How are you
enjoying your first day here?
It's not so bad replies James, but I have this strange feeling inside
like I'm about to explode. You're ovulating explained the rooster,
haven't you ever laid an egg before?
Never replies James.
Well just relax and let it happen.
And so he did, and just a few uncomfortable seconds later an egg pops
out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him
emotions got the better of him as he experienced the joy motherhood
for the first time.
When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming
and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that
ever happened to him… ever!
The joy of motherhood continued to build and, just as he was just
about to lay his third egg, he felt an enormous smack on the back of
his head and heard his wife shout James, wake up you drunken bastard,
you're shitting the bed! |
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