Dear Abby:

My mother passed away last year, and my whole world has been rocked.
To make it worse, my father has been acting like a little boy. Soon
after Mom’s death, he met a woman. Since then, he has not included me
and my siblings in any decisions regarding Mom’s belongings —
including expensive things that were in our family for years.

When we ask Dad about them, he says, “They’re mine now,” or, “You have
nothing to do with them.” Mom prided herself on these antiques that
have stayed in the family. We would like to pass them on to our
children, but Dad has been selling them and using the money to pay for
his lifestyle.

Am I wrong for feeling that Dad is acting like a brat? Talking to him
is useless. He responds like a kid whose friends won’t play the way he
likes.

— LET DOWN BY DAD in N.Y.
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This sparked some interesting discussions in my family. The writer

On Jun 26, 10:54 am, t-13 <ectoplasmicfin... at (no spam) gmail.com> wrote:

Dear Abby:

My mother passed away last year, and my whole world has been rocked.
To make it worse, my father has been acting like a little boy. Soon
after Mom’s death, he met a woman. Since then, he has not included me
and my siblings in any decisions regarding Mom’s belongings —
including expensive things that were in our family for years.

When we ask Dad about them, he says, “They’re mine now,” or, “You have
nothing to do with them.” Mom prided herself on these antiques that
have stayed in the family. We would like to pass them on to our
children, but Dad has been selling them and using the money to pay for
his lifestyle.

Am I wrong for feeling that Dad is acting like a brat? Talking to him
is useless. He responds like a kid whose friends won’t play the way he
likes.

— LET DOWN BY DAD in N.Y.
-------------------------------------------

This sparked some interesting discussions in my family.  The writer
never said her father was a brat, only that she felt he was acting
like a brat by not including the children in the disposal of their
mother's things.  But, unless mom left instructions as to how she
wanted her things divided, they are Dad's to do what he wants.
This may be legal, but if these things have been in the mother's
family for generations, Dad should have taken the feelings of her
children into consideration and offered them the right of first
refusal.  If these things were purchased by Mom and Dad together, they
belong to their father.
The lesson to be learned here is when one gets to a certan age or
medical condition, make a list of what goes to who.  Then there will
be no questions, hurt feelings or arguments about who gets what.

RC
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Well, OK, maybe I should have written one beer sooner.

How do you want the money? I'll send it direct or pay your favorite
charity.

I don't consider a bet made after one beer to many binding.  But, if
you really need to pay it, donate it to the Heart Fund.

RC
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