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Hobby Forum Index » Folk Dancing » Dancing q- Eye Contact
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| Rick S |
 Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2004 7:06 am |
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I am new to dancing and just had a query about where to look while doing
particular dances, eg rock and roll, jive, etc. Some ladies will look at me
the whole time, whereas others only occasionally. I have always been shy,
meaning is uncomfortable for me to continually look in partner's eyes. Thus
I hope people I dance with aren't offended if I don't maintain the eye
contact. I ask as this is one area that hasn't been covered in the teaching.
Can anyone give me advice? Thanks. |
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| Jon Leech |
| Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 5:06 am |
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In article <40eba3cb$0$16106$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au>,
Rick S <rockfan123@hotmail.com> wrote:
Quote: I am new to dancing and just had a query about where to look while doing
particular dances, eg rock and roll, jive, etc. Some ladies will look at me
the whole time, whereas others only occasionally. I have always been shy,
meaning is uncomfortable for me to continually look in partner's eyes. Thus
I hope people I dance with aren't offended if I don't maintain the eye
contact. I ask as this is one area that hasn't been covered in the teaching.
Can anyone give me advice? Thanks.
Look at her as much as you can manage without risking safety (see
below). It will get easier over time and probably even enjoyable,
eventually.
In lead-follow dancing, though, the leader is responsible for the
follower's safety above all else. So you need to look around periodicaly
to make sure you're not about to put her in a place someone else is in,
or headed for. Thus you can't look at your partner *all* the time even
if you're so inclined - but that's not an excuse to not look at all :-)
Jon
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| Sean |
| Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 10:08 am |
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Jon Leech wrote:
Quote: In article <40eba3cb$0$16106$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au>,
Rick S <rockfan123@hotmail.com> wrote:
I am new to dancing and just had a query about where to look while doing
particular dances, eg rock and roll, jive, etc. Some ladies will look at me
the whole time, whereas others only occasionally. I have always been shy,
meaning is uncomfortable for me to continually look in partner's eyes. Thus
I hope people I dance with aren't offended if I don't maintain the eye
contact. I ask as this is one area that hasn't been covered in the teaching.
Can anyone give me advice? Thanks.
Look at her as much as you can manage without risking safety (see
below). It will get easier over time and probably even enjoyable,
eventually.
I heartily endorse that piece of advice. Back when I first started
contra dancing, and for some years afterward, I made little or no eye
contact during dances -- unless my girlfriend was my partner.
After a rather long interval, during the past few years I've been
dancing regularly again, and where possible I quite consciously make eye
contact, and not just with my partner but my neighbor, corner and anyone
else -- female or male -- I encounter in the course of a particular dance.
I find eye contact _does_ make dancing a lot more enjoyable, and helps
to affirm the relationship, however temporary and fleeting, you have
with the other dancers for however long the dance in question goes.
Depending on how much I know the person, or on the particular qualities
of the dance and the accompanying music, I like to vary the eye contact:
sometimes rakish, sometimes serene, sometimes histrionic, sometimes
dignified. THe point is, most everyone understands that this sort of
instant, implied intimacy is first and foremost an expression of the
dance, rather than suggestive of attraction or affection.
Which is _not_ to say that you can't or shouldn't express
attraction/affection toward a person, especially a good friend or loved
one, with whom you dance. But as I said, the important thing at that
time is what your interaction with your partner/neighbor/corner/etc.
brings to the dance.
Sean
linwood17@hotmail.com
Because some things
can't be helped--http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/6504
Featuring "Daze and Quirks"
and
The Dumb, Stupid Baseball Hat Page
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"...and representing the Flower People, Quasimodo on bells."
--Viv Stanshall, Bonzo Doo Dah Dog Band |
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| Ralph Barthine |
| Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 12:07 pm |
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On Wed, 7 Jul 2004, Jon Leech wrote:
Quote: In lead-follow dancing, though, the leader is responsible for the
follower's safety above all else. So you need to look around periodicaly
to make sure you're not about to put her in a place someone else is in,
or headed for. Thus you can't look at your partner *all* the time even
if you're so inclined....
What, has peripheral vision gone out of fashion?
-rb |
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| Jon Leech |
| Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 2:07 pm |
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In article <Pine.GSO.4.60.0407071241150.19074@mail>,
Ralph Barthine <rbarthin@bcpl.net> wrote:
Quote: On Wed, 7 Jul 2004, Jon Leech wrote:
In lead-follow dancing, though, the leader is responsible for the
follower's safety above all else. So you need to look around periodicaly
to make sure you're not about to put her in a place someone else is in,
or headed for. Thus you can't look at your partner *all* the time even
if you're so inclined....
What, has peripheral vision gone out of fashion?
Shrug. I get regular compliments on my partners feeling very safe,
which I appreciate, so looking first where I'm putting her works for me.
If you're unwilling to break eye contact when you're about to move
your partner at high speed to a position exactly on the other side of
where she is now, as not infrequently happens in swing dancing, that's
something for you to deal with together with your own dance partners.
Jon
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| Rick S |
| Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2004 8:06 am |
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I was confused as well by some site on internet which state not to stare at
the lady. But al in all I agree with your comments.
"Jon Leech" <nospam@oddhack.engr.sgi.com> wrote in message
news:ccghi6$181uga$1@fido.engr.sgi.com...
Quote: In article <40eba3cb$0$16106$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au>,
Rick S <rockfan123@hotmail.com> wrote:
I am new to dancing and just had a query about where to look while doing
particular dances, eg rock and roll, jive, etc. Some ladies will look at
me
the whole time, whereas others only occasionally. I have always been shy,
meaning is uncomfortable for me to continually look in partner's eyes.
Thus
I hope people I dance with aren't offended if I don't maintain the eye
contact. I ask as this is one area that hasn't been covered in the
teaching.
Can anyone give me advice? Thanks.
Look at her as much as you can manage without risking safety (see
below). It will get easier over time and probably even enjoyable,
eventually.
In lead-follow dancing, though, the leader is responsible for the
follower's safety above all else. So you need to look around periodicaly
to make sure you're not about to put her in a place someone else is in,
or headed for. Thus you can't look at your partner *all* the time even
if you're so inclined - but that's not an excuse to not look at all :-)
Jon
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